Set In Stone
by The SOC Puppet
Summary: AU. When the Leaf Village abandoned Naruto to die as a baby, the last thing they expected was for him to come back as a shinobi – and perhaps an enemy.
1. Life After Death

**Naruto****: Set In Stone**

by The SOC Puppet

**Chapter 1 – Life After Death**

Summary: AU. When the Leaf Village abandoned Naruto to die as a baby, the last thing they expected was for him to come back as a shinobi – and perhaps an enemy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in this story, except for originals that may pop up along the way. All jutsus are also not my property, other than the ones I think up.

" " – Speech

_Italics_ – Thoughts

          "Hokage-sama, it must be done. The village has spoken, and they simply don't feel safe leaving that…thing…alive. Wouldn't it be best just to dispose of it, and end the threat for good?"

          The Third Hokage sighed, feeling the eyes of every Jounin in the room on him. He hadn't relished the idea of coming back from retirement after the Fourth's death, and now he hated the idea even more. Didn't they understand that every life in the village was precious to him, as it had been to all the Hokages? The Fourth had wanted the child, the vessel of the Ninetails, to be seen as a hero. Instead his comrades feared it, seeing the demon and not the child.

          Still, this was no time to split the village apart, not with the Fourth dead and so many high-ranking shinobi dead or wounded. What other choice did he have? Perhaps in another time, another universe, he would have stood up for the child, but right now, the greater good took priority. _Forgive me, my friend. This time I can't follow your wishes_.

          "If that is the wish of the village, then so be it. The vessel of the Ninetails will be disposed of. But let me say one thing. If you do not feel anything for a child that is not yours, do not be surprised when others feel the same about your children. I pray you will not come to regret this decision. This will not be done for your benefit, nor to ease irrational worries. I am simply doing it because you have left me no other choice that will keep this village intact. You have what you wanted. Now leave. There has been enough chaos for one night."

          He couldn't tell if his words had made an impact, but the Third didn't really care. _Having your hand forced by your own people…a fine way to reclaim the authority you gave to the Fourth, eh, old man?_ As the assembled group turned to go, the old Hokage called one of them over.

          "Kakashi, stay behind. I have something for you to do."

          He watched as a shorter shape detached itself from the dispersing crowd and appeared before him. 14 years old and already a Jounin, Hatake Kakashi was one of the young rising stars in the village, who had thankfully survived the Ninetails' attack, unlike many of his older comrades.

          "Name it, sir."

          "I wouldn't be so eager, my boy. You haven't heard what I want you to do yet. Come, walk with me. Right now I'd rather not see any more of this room."

          "As you wish, Hokage-sama."

          The Third and Kakashi were halfway up the path to the mountain memorial before the Hokage spoke, his voice sounding tired and worn. 

          "Tell me, Kakashi, what's your opinion on this whole mess?"

          The young man took his time answering, glancing up at the still-unfinished face of the Fourth Hokage on the face of the mountain.

          "They're scared, Hokage-sama. Everyone's always a little afraid for their lives when they go into battle, but that's different. A battle you can control. The Ninetails was a demon. It cost us dozens of our best shinobi _and_ the Fourth just to seal it away. Nobody wants to see that happen again."

          "A good analysis, worthy of someone who made Jounin so young. But I didn't ask what everyone else thought, my boy. I asked what _you_ think about it." 

          The gray-haired Jounin sounded torn.

          "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared too. But I was the Fourth's student, and I trusted him when he said it was over and the seal would hold. If that's the case, there's no excuse for them to be afraid of the kid. I mean, he's blameless!"

          "He's more than just blameless, Kakashi."

          "I don't understand." 

          The Third shook his head, continuing to walk up the mountain.

          "No, of course not. The private life of a Hokage is seldom public knowledge. The vessel of the Ninetails is no mere child, Kakashi. His name is Naruto, and he is the son of the Fourth Hokage, the last living member of the Kazama line."

          "_He's WHAT!?_"

          "Keep your voice down, boy. What I am telling you was only known to myself, the Fourth, and Naruto's mother, whose name the Fourth told me I was not to pursue. He did not want her to become a target of violence if the village did not see his son as a hero. Rather ironic, isn't it? The Fourth sacrificed his own flesh and blood to save the village, and now they want to kill his only legacy." 

          "So tell everyone, sir! If they knew he was the son of such a hero, wouldn't they change their minds?"

          "You said it yourself, Kakashi," the Third said quietly. "The villagers are too scared. They do not see a child, only a demon. They cannot be swayed, even by the memory of the Fourth."

          "Why doesn't his mother step forward? Surely she'd want her son to survive!"

          "From what I was told, Naruto's mother lost quite a lot of blood during labor, and she passed out before the doctors delivered the child by Caesarean section. She is hospitalized and heavily sedated. Besides, I doubt even her pleas would be enough to change anyone's mind as they are now. It would be best to simply let her believe the child was stillborn or died after birth."

          Kakashi didn't sound too convinced.

          "I guess so. But what do I have to do with all of this?"

          "It's quite simple. I want you to take Naruto into the forest tonight."

          "I can't kill him, Hokage-sama. Don't ask that of me. Anything else, you can order me as you please, but I will not kill my own sensei's son. The village can find someone else to do their dirty work!" 

          "Kakashi, Kakashi. What did they teach you at the Academy about making assumptions? When did I say I wanted you to kill him?"

          "But that's what you just agreed to do!"

          "Listen more carefully next time, my boy. I told them I would dispose of the child. I never said I would have him killed."

          "How is abandoning the kid in the forest any different from killing him?"

          "Admittedly," the Third sighed, "there isn't much difference. But Naruto would have at least a fighting chance at survival. Who knows? He could be raised by animals, or someone could find him and take him in. The closer you can get to some kind of civilization before you abandon him, the better. Don't leave the forest, of course. You want to be able to say you disposed of him there."

          Kakashi hesitated for a brief moment.

          "I want to say I agree, but what if he's found and raised as an enemy of the Leaf? Surely you wouldn't want that, Hokage-sama."

          The old shinobi shrugged, the expression in his eyes hardening into cold fury.

          "If it happens, the villagers have only themselves to blame for not looking past their fear and thinking rationally. I can't say I'd feel much sympathy for them."

          "Even if he should attack the village?"

          "He will not."

          "How can you be so sure?"

          "The blood of Hokages runs through Naruto's veins, Kakashi. He's not just a member of the Kazama Clan, but also the Morioka Clan of the First Hokage, through Tsunade's sister, who married the Fourth's father. The very spirit of Konoha is within his blood. Try though they might, no one will be able to take it out of him. Even if Naruto never becomes an ally of the Leaf, I know he will never attack us."

          "No offense, sir, but that isn't much comfort."

          The Third snorted, turning to look up at the Fourth's unfinished memorial.

          "It is all the comfort the people of this village deserve. Go now, Kakashi. You will find Naruto in my chambers, on top of the mountain. You are to tell no one of this mission, not even future Hokages, other than that you disposed of the child. Return here as soon as you place Naruto in the forest. I will not have rogue hunter-nin pursuing the boy if indeed he survives, so it is best that neither of us knows his true fate."

          Seeing that he would not get any more information from the Third, Kakashi nodded, accepting the mission.

          "Yes, sir."

          The old Hokage watched his subordinate go, and made a silent wish.

          _Let someone find this child, and raise him to become the hero the Fourth wished him to be. If not for the Leaf's sake, then for Naruto's sake._

* * *

          "What a bunch of pansies! They're scared of a kid? Give me a break."

          "Shira, shut up and keep moving. You can complain all you want when we're back in the village!"

          "Are the two of you done waking up every Leaf-nin for a mile around? I'd like to make it home without having to hack my way out."

          Yamazaki Mizuki shook her head at the antics of her two teammates. Iguchi Shira and Yamazaki Yuki had long been famous in the Hidden Stone Village for having very little in common; so little, in fact, that they inevitably found something to argue about any time they met. Putting them on the same team had been the equivalent of trying to mix oil and water. Then again, Yamazaki Kantaro, the retired Fourth Tsuchikage of the Stone, Yuki's father and Mizuki's father-in-law, had never really been good at controlling his daughter's behavior. Perhaps he'd figured Shira would do a better job. _But why stick me in the middle?_

          In truth, Mizuki knew pretty well why her father-in-law had stuck her with the eternally bickering pair. Kantaro was one of the few people left in the Stone Village who still doubted her loyalties, six years (and three children) after her marriage to his son Daimaru, now the Fifth Tsuchikage, had sealed an alliance between her native Mist Village and the Stone Village.

          On top of that, she had been something of a disappointment to the former Tsuchikage, bearing three straight daughters to Daimaru when Kantaro expected at least one male heir to the Yamazaki line. After her last pregnancy, the doctors had said having more children would present a serious danger to her health. Kantaro, true to form, hadn't taken the news well. Clearly displeased, the old shinobi would gladly have sent her back to the Mist, except for that little part in the treaty about it being grounds for war between the villages. Well, that and Daimaru had threatened his own father with violence if he so much as tried to ship her back home.

          Mizuki considered herself lucky to have gotten an arranged husband like Yamazaki Daimaru. Political marriages were almost never love matches; most spouses attached in them barely spoke to each other from the start. The two of them had begun like that at first, trying to get past their mutual distrust and find something to make the relationship more meaningful. Ironically enough, their shared annoyance with Kantaro was what had finally broken the ice between them, and turned a marriage of convenience into something better. 

          The Fifth Tsuchikage was nothing like his father, something Kantaro regularly lamented when his son angered him. As easygoing as any man in the laid-back Stone Village, Daimaru couldn't have cared less that he only had the three daughters. 

          "I look at it this way," he'd said one night when Mizuki asked. "You can threaten to beat up a kid who tries to seduce your daughter. What are you going to do to the girl who your oversexed teenage son got pregnant, scream at her? It's just not done."

          But even if Daimaru said he didn't care, treating their daughters like little princesses, Mizuki found she _did_ care. She hated agreeing with Kantaro, but it was important to her too that the Yamazaki line should continue. She'd seen the kind of fighting and strife that could erupt over successions. If a ruling family died out, entire clans and families could perish in the battles over who would take power in their stead. The Stone didn't need that kind of chaos. But what could she do about it? There was no Yamazaki cousin to adopt; Daimaru's only siblings were Yuki and an older sister, Mana, and Mana's children were all girls too. 

          Her meditations were cut off by the faint sound of a baby's crying. What could it possibly mean, so far out in the forest? The three Stone shinobi had been sent to the Leaf to see what all the commotion about this "Ninetailed Demon Fox" had been about, but none of their intelligence had said anything about Leaf-nins living this far away from the village. That left one conclusion based on what they'd learned in the Leaf Village proper. _Could it be the child they wanted disposed of? The one their Hokage sealed the demon inside?_

          There was no time to sit around and think about it. For every moment that she, Yuki and Shira spent lingering in the forest, their likelihood of a safe retreat decreased dramatically. If she was going to check it out, she had to do it now. Letting out a sharp hiss, Mizuki snapped off a command to her teammates.

          "Yuki! Shira! I just heard something off to the northwest! Follow me, and do it quietly!"

          The bickering ceased immediately. For all their faults, Shira and Yuki knew when to shut their mouths and get down to business. Following closely behind Mizuki, the two Stone ninja made no sound as the team advanced through the forest.

          The wife of the Tsuchikage shook her head a little as the cries got closer. Why did she even care? Was it just some irrational thought that this was the answer to her problems? It didn't make any sense! Even if the child was a boy, he was no Yamazaki. Kantaro would never accept a foundling…or would he? Why even take the risk of bringing a demon into the Stone? Even as she neared the source of the sounds, doubts ran rampant through Mizuki's mind – and then, in a single moment, all of them vanished.

          Even in later years, when she was asked about it, Yamazaki Mizuki could never quite explain why she had decided to disregard all common sense and do what she did that night, simply because of the sight of a baby boy wrapped in a thin blanket. The best explanation she could give, even to Daimaru, was that a sort of inarticulate rage had come over her. 

          Maybe it was because she herself had no sons, or just that she and Daimaru treasured little Aoi, Azusa and Yoriko so much. Or was it just jealousy that the Leaf had so many male children that they actually felt no remorse about wasting one? Whatever the reason, her thoughts finally agreed on one thing – a question, more than anything. _How dare they? How dare they blame this child for a sin not of his doing?_

          Even if he was not destined to be a Yamazaki, or anything special, the child deserved a chance to live. Yamazaki Mizuki would give it to him, and the Leaf be damned! Striding over to the swaddled form, the young woman reached down and gathered the child into her arms. Immediately, she heard Shira gasp.

          "Mizuki-sama! What are you doing? That seal…a baby out this far in the forest…this is the child that the Leaf-nins wanted disposed of! It has to be!"

          "Your point being?"

          "What happens if the seal breaks? What happens if the Leaf finds out and tracks him to us?"

          "We'll worry about that if and when it ever happens. Besides, I thought you just called the Leaf Village a bunch of pansies for being scared of a child. Don't tell me you want to join their ranks, Shira."

          _That_ shut the massive Jounin up in a hurry. Meanwhile, always ready to counter her teammate, Yuki asked her sister-in-law a simple question.

          "Nee-sama, I just wanna know one thing. Will Dad be pissed off if we bring this kid back to the Stone with us?"

          Mizuki just grinned.

          "Are you kidding? The high-and-mighty Fourth Tsuchikage? He'll hit the roof."

          "Then what are we waiting for? Hand him to me and let's go!"

          "But…but…"

          Mizuki smiled and leapt into the trees, Yuki alongside her.

          "Shira, you're outvoted. And besides, my father-in-law's only going to blame me for this. So stop hemming and hawing, and let's get moving!"

          "In for a penny, in for a pound. You've seldom been wrong before, so I suppose I can't argue."

          "That's the spirit. Move out! We're going home!" 

          As the Leaf Village receded in the distance, Mizuki glanced down at the sleeping child she cradled, and spared the other Hidden Village one thought. _You had your chance, people of the Leaf. This child could have been yours to raise, yours to love. Now he's ours, a child of the Stone. Don't blame me if you don't like how he turns out. Consider this your only warning, because it's all you deserve to get_. 

          Turning back towards the direction of home, the wife of the Tsuchikage vanished, leaving only a silent forest behind.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Yes, I know I have two other stories posted already. But updates are progressing well for both of them, so don't worry. This story idea came to me so fast and so detailed, I had to get it down on paper and get it out there. 

And before anyone asks, just like Bloodlines and Eye of the Beholder, this story is non-yaoi. Don't ask me for pairings, don't even ask me for hints of shonen-ai, because it'll just be a waste of breath. 

**Next:** Mizuki has made her decision and taken baby Naruto back to the Stone Village with her! What will the people of the Stone think, and can Naruto become a part of the Yamazaki Clan after all?


	2. Safe Haven

**Naruto: Set in Stone**

by The SOC Puppet

**Chapter 2 – Safe Haven**

Summary: The Leaf Village, fearful of the baby boy who was the Ninetails' vessel, pressured the Third Hokage into "disposing" of Naruto, leaving him out in the forest, where Yamazaki Mizuki, wife of the Fifth Tsuchikage, discovered him and took him back to the Hidden Stone Village to be raised by her family. The only problem is…they don't know that yet.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in this story, except for originals that may pop up along the way. All jutsus are also not my property, other than the ones I think up.

" " – Speech

_Italics_ – Thoughts

          "Daimaru, why is your father laughing? He never laughs. Even when he does, it's sarcastic or he's about to start sneering."

          Yamazaki Daimaru, Fifth Tsuchikage of the Stone, shrugged. Nothing in the village had been quite the same after Mizuki and her team had brought back more than just information from the Leaf Village. Seeing his father cradling the orphaned Leaf baby and laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes was just the tip of the iceberg.

          "Not really sure. You might want to take the kid away from him before something happens."

          Yamazaki Kantaro scoffed at his son's suggestion, wiping the tears from his eyes as he sat in his favorite chair. The Fifth and his wife had surprised the retired Fourth Tsuchikage there, while enjoying his morning pipe. 

          "Nonsense. Just because you don't get the joke doesn't mean I'm crazy."

          Looking down at the baby in his arms, Kantaro smiled, and looked back up at Mizuki, who blinked. That was certainly a new experience for her.

          "Mizuki, my dear, I must apologize. Here I was, thinking that you were going to be the end of the Yamazaki Clan, and now you bring me this little treasure. I stand corrected. You have saved this family."

          Daimaru regarded the blonde-haired baby now being happily dandled on his father's knee.

          "I don't understand, Father. Why are you so enthusiastic about this child when you've been so adamant only a blood Yamazaki can continue the line?"

          "Any old child you find in an orphanage would hardly improve the strength of our Clan. _This_ child is different."

          "Because he is the vessel of the Ninetails?"

          "Partly. There is something that all of you have failed to see in him, and _that_ is the true reason would I gladly accept him as my grandson. Mizuki, would you bring our latest copy of the Ninja Almanac to me? The one that details all of the villages, please."

          Intrigued, Yamazaki Mizuki plucked the book in question off her father-in-law's bookshelf, and walked back over to where Kantaro sat.

          "Now open it up to the Leaf Village section, and find the picture of the Fourth Hokage."

          Mizuki did as she was ordered, and immediately dropped the book, hands going slack in surprise and shock.

          "Father, surely you don't mean…?" 

          The gray-haired shinobi waved a hand in dismissal.

          "I can't _prove_ it without a sample of his blood, of course. But I knew Kazama Arashi fairly well. We had a battle or two before I left things to Daimaru, and I got a good idea of the man's ideals and talents. Even if this child did _not_ look like him, I would still know this was his son."

          Daimaru's eyes went back and forth from the open Almanac to the face of the baby his father held. There was some resemblance, true, in the hair color and hair type, but that was hardly an accurate measure of blood relation. The Fifth Tsuchikage himself had blonde hair and blue eyes just like Mizuki's foundling.

          "How's that?"

          "For a Leaf shinobi, Kazama Arashi was one hell of a man, Daimaru. Your equal in many respects, I'd wager. Among them was his commitment to protect his people and village, the very quality our people praise you for. Mizuki, Shira, and Yuki already told you he sacrificed his life to seal away the Ninetails, did they not?"

          "Of course. What does it have to do with this child being his son?"

          "Everything, boy. Would _you_ ask one of your people to give up one of _their_ children to save the Stone from such a demon, if a child had to be the vessel for the seal?"

          Fire blazed in the Fifth Tsuchikage's eyes, quickly replaced by cold blue steel in his gaze.

          "Asking for such a sacrifice when I had something to give first? Never!"

          Kantaro nodded solemnly.

          "Well said. I'm certain Kazama Arashi felt exactly the same way when his people were threatened. Given the physical resemblance, then, and the seal on the child's navel, I'm fairly certain this child is the son of the Fourth Hokage. The son of a Kage, his chakra combined with the strength of a safely sealed demon? I couldn't have envisioned a more powerful addition to our Clan if I'd tried, Mizuki."

          For the first time in six years, Yamazaki Mizuki felt herself the target of something totally unexpected – her father-in-law's respect, and even affection. But as Tsuchikage, Daimaru's duties and concerns forced him to intrude on the moment.

          "If he's the son of their leader, surely the Leaf is going to come for him when they find out he's alive. Wouldn't we have to give up the boy, then?"

          A fire as white-hot as his son had displayed sprang to life in the old Tsuchikage's eyes. Kantaro spat on the floor, disgust permeating his expression.

          "Tell me, boy. What do the people of this village think of Yoriko, Aoi or Azusa? If they were lost in the forest, defenseless, would they drop whatever they were doing to rescue the girls?"

          "My daughters have done nothing to anger the village. The people treat them as their own children, so I'd wager they would try to rescue them."

          "So what do the actions of the Leaf tell you about their feelings for this child?"

          The Fifth froze in mid-response and closed his mouth, shaking his head.

          "I understand, Father."

          "You had damned well better. This child was not abandoned because someone made a mistake, son. They wanted him to die. But that doesn't mesh with Mizuki finding him unharmed in the middle of the forest. This entire situation smells of old Sarutobi's involvement."

          The Fifth's wife blinked. What did the Third Hokage have to do with this?

          "What do you mean by Sarutobi being involved?"

          "The Third Hokage's not a coward or a fool, as many of his people appear to have become. He wouldn't be stupid enough to believe this child was a demon. The fact that he merely _abandoned_ the boy in the forest instead of having him _killed _means he was hoping for someone to discover the child. If that's the case, I have no regrets about accepting the child into our Clan. The Leaf had their chance. They blew it. He is ours now, and the only way those fools will take my grandson from me is if they kill me first. Now and forever, he is a Yamazaki."

          "What about the Ninetails? Surely you don't want the damage from Konoha being done to our people."

          "Pah!" Kantaro snorted, looking down at the seal on the baby's stomach. "I didn't become Tsuchikage just for my looks. Kazama Arashi did the hard part by creating the seal. All we need to do is to make sure nobody interferes with it, and make the boy strong enough to force down the demon if it gets frisky. I can do both by taking charge of training him." 

          Mizuki looked on, surprised that she agreed. Her father-in-law had become much more reasonable since all of his doubts about her had been dealt with. Only one thing troubled her about how quickly the baby had been accepted into the Clan.

          "I know this sounds foolish of me, since I brought him here, but I'm concerned about the girls. This boy is the Clan's heir, of course, but what about the title of Sixth Tsuchikage? Do you intend to give _that_ to him now as well?"

          "That's Daimaru's decision, my dear. I may still head the Clan, but he heads the village now."

          The Fifth looked at his wife, and then down at the baby, wondering what taking in such a child would mean. Truthfully, deep inside, Yamazaki Daimaru knew that he had wanted a son. Not so much that he would have taken a mistress, or loved his daughters any less, but enough that it had been eating at him, keeping him awake some nights. But was it worth taking the chance to be Tsuchikage away from his daughters? _We won't know until it happens. Kid won't get a free ride anyway, not with my father training him_. 

          "Nobody's _given_ the rank of Tsuchikage, love. Even if you hadn't brought this kid back with you, Yoriko, Aoi or Azusa would have had to prove they were worthy of succeeding me, like I had to prove it to my father. If this child proves himself worthier of the title than his sisters, he'll succeed me as Tsuchikage. If he doesn't, he'll simply be a shinobi of the Stone. That's not a bad way to end up."

          Mizuki bowed her head, sighing in relief. Trust her husband to come up with something that wouldn't offend anyone, and yet give every one of the children the possibility of coming up a winner in the future. Daimaru was happiest when everybody won, so this was no surprise. But it seemed her husband wasn't done talking yet.

          "Now enough with the Clan and Tsuchikage business. We've all been talking about this kid, and he still doesn't have a name. Can't keep calling him 'the boy,' or 'that child.' Mizuki, you found him. You want to do the honors?"

          "Naruto. His name is Naruto."

          Kantaro glanced at the baby, noting the spiral shape of the Ninetails' seal. 

          "After the seal?"

          "No. I was changing his diaper on the way back and a note fell out of the blanket he'd been wrapped in, with only a name on it. I guess the Third Hokage really did want someone to find him, and at least preserve the name the Fourth Hokage gave him."

          The Fourth Tsuchikage nodded, turning the baby to face him.

          "Fair enough. A hero should have his last request honored. Hear that, you lucky scamp? From now on, your name is Yamazaki Naruto. Do it proud."

* * *

          As it turned out, Naruto would have to do more than simply do his name proud to satisfy his grandfather's many expectations. His first reminder would come five years later.

          "Honestly, Father. An arranged marriage? He's only five years old!"

          Kantaro slapped a hand to his forehead as he saw the irritated look on Mizuki's face. _I keep telling her it'll stunt Naruto's growth for her to smother him so much_. 

          "Even I'm not that crazy, Mizuki. Naruto and whichever one of Mana's daughters he picks will decide when they marry on their own, and they can't legalize it until they're fifteen at the earliest anyhow."

          "Why even force him to do that? Surely you know arranged marriages are hardly considerate of the children's feelings."

          "My dear, I realize that, but you can't deny that Naruto is only an heir in name. In order to continue the bloodline of the Yamazakis, he has to marry a girl from the Clan. Since it'd be totally inappropriate for him to wed any of his sisters, his cousins will have to do. Mana's got five girls; one of them is bound to be a good choice."

          Mizuki sighed, twitching the tablecloth on the family dinner table.

          "Two of them are already in their teens, Father. It's safe to say they're out of his age range."

          "Even so, he's still got a one-in-three chance of finding himself one he likes. That's better than what Daimaru got when you came over, if you'll think back."

          "That's hardly a fair comparison. It was a state of war that forced both our villages to come to a quick, peaceful compromise. You're not asking him to marry the girl for that kind of reason!"

          "All right, all right. If they really don't get along by the time they're fifteen, I'll reexamine the situation and think of something else. But what's the harm in letting him see which of the girls he'd like to marry? It's not like Naruto's going to take it as anything more than a game at his age."

          The auburn-haired woman bowed her head, realizing that even though he had learned to accept her, Yamazaki Kantaro could only be made to bend so far. 

          "I suppose you're right. Where is Naruto, anyway?"

          "I had Shira take him over to Mana's house to play with the girls."

          Before Mizuki could say anything, her father-in-law continued, anticipating her response.

          "And no, I didn't tell him about the marriage. Figured you were going to take offense, so I'm simply letting the boy see what the girls are like. No more, no less."

          "I wonder what's going on?"

* * *

          "Honestly, those two are always forgetting their school things. Scrolls one day, kunai the next. I swear I should just let them fail an exercise so their father has a reason to give them a hiding."

          Ishida Mana flew about her house, blonde hair flying behind her as she grabbed the shuriken that had been strewn throughout her two oldest daughters' room. Dashing down to the living room, she looked in to see her three younger girls – Kana, Kaori and Kira – playing with Daimaru's boy, Naruto.

          The Fourth Tsuchikage's eldest daughter thought it odd that Shira had suddenly needed to handle such a long list of chores and leave Naruto with her, but challenging him would be like challenging her father. The gigantic Jounin served Kantaro as Naruto's other sensei; anyone remotely sane in the Stone Village knew better than to challenge the retired shinobi when it came to how he trained his grandson. In fact, they did their best to keep Naruto from being overworked.

          Everyone who had met the child was hesitant at first, knowing what was inside of him, but they couldn't stay scared for very long. Not when they saw his beaming smile, or had to answer one of his many questions about anything new to him. From the most powerful Jounin to the lowliest blacksmith, nobody had escaped being grilled by one simple word: "Why?"

          More importantly, the people of the Hidden Stone Village loved Naruto for a different and very obvious reason. Ever since the Yamazakis had adopted him, Kantaro's personality had undergone a complete turnaround. Oh, the retired shinobi could still be prickly and hidebound, but he rarely ever snapped at anyone nowadays. As the Fourth Tsuchikage's tongue-lashings had been known to make even hardened Jounin cry, Naruto had been a godsend.

          Mana rarely saw her nephew, because he was in the dojo so often. Most people in the village thought it was just a rumor that Kantaro had been training Naruto since he had taken his first steps. The Fourth's daughter knew differently. Daimaru had undergone the exact same treatment, and Naruto was following in his father's footsteps. She supposed it was better for him to be getting a break right now. Deciding that was a good thing, the blonde Jounin leaned into the living room.

          "Girls, Naruto, I have to take these shuriken to the Academy. Yuri and Maki managed to forget their things – again. I'll be back very soon. Kana, take care of your sisters and Naruto, okay?"

          Ishida Kana, all of six years old, nodded her blonde head happily. 

          "A mission like Daddy goes on?"

          "Yes, honey. Now I'm off!"

          Without another word, Mana dashed out the door, closing it firmly behind her and leaving Naruto at the mercy of his cousins. 

          Kana turned back to where her sisters and cousin were staring up at a tall shelf, several stuffed animals teetering on its edge. Her younger sister Kaori, five years old, pointed at one of the dolls.

          "I can't reach Teddy! Now what are we going to play with?"

          Kira, four years old and red-haired like her father, immediately turned to Naruto, who was also staring up at the shelf.

          "Mommy always tells Daddy to be a man and do the heavy lifting! He's not here, so you get it down!"

          Naruto glared down at the younger girl. _She sounds like Grampa. I get enough of that in the dojo_. 

          "Does it look like I can reach them?"

          "I don't care! Do something!"

          Come to think of it, there _was _something he could try. Grampa Kantaro was always telling him to think of everything as some kind of training. Maybe if he used one of those spiffy jutsus he was being taught, he could get the dolls down. But what to use? _They're just hangin' on the edge. Maybe if I bump 'em a little they'll move!_ Pressing his hands together, the Fifth Tsuchikage's son slowly made the series of hand seals he'd seen Shira do the day before, placing one hand palm down on the floor when he was done. 

          "Okay, but you asked for it. Doton: Jishin Ken (Earth Element: Earthquake Fist)!"

          Thankfully, Naruto was so young that the tiny amount of chakra he placed into the Earthquake Fist barely rattled the dishes in his aunt's kitchen. Even so, the brief moment of vibration that shook the house was enough to jostle three dolls off the shelf. One landed in Kana's outstretched hands, another in Kaori's, and the last bounced off Kira's head with a cute little squeak. The four year-old immediately glared at her cousin.

          "That hurt, you stupidhead!"

          "So move out of the way! It's just a doll, how's it gonna hurt you? Grampa throws harder stuff at me all the time!"

          Which he did – earth, rocks, debris, and even shuriken, in the name of teaching Naruto every Earth jutsu known to man. So far, he was managing to avoid most of the flying objects. Not all of them, of course – there were some advantages to having his mother see the bruises, like her having a shouting match with his Grampa, and getting him a day off from training. Kira had no idea about any of that and proved it by hitting him with her doll, another squeak being heard as it impacted. 

          "What the hell was that for? I got you your doll! Not my fault you're too slow to dodge a little toy."

          "Is too! You made an earthquake! It was scary!"

          The argument cut off abruptly as Kaori handed her doll to her older sister, walked over to Kira, and yanked the squeaky toy away from her younger sister. 

          "You know what Mommy says, Kira! People who can't appreciate things are followers and followers don't deserve toys."

          Kaori was technically right, although her mother hadn't worded it quite that way. Mana had simply been teaching her girls the meaning of the Stone Village's unofficial motto: "The worthy lead, and the unworthy follow." To many outsiders, that meant the Stone placed strength above all in looking for its leaders and commanders. 

          In reality, it meant nothing of the sort. Everyone liked to have strong leaders and fighters, but without humility or intelligence, strength was often useless. The arrogant and ignorant were unworthy, even if they could move mountains without breaking a sweat. So it was that Mana had turned each of the five Ishida girls across her knee for a spanking at least once for displaying "unworthy" behavior. 

          Kaori didn't have much use for the motto, considering how often her mother used it to justify blistering her behind for doing something wrong. But now and then it came in handy for things like shutting her brat of a little sister up. Kira, as she usually did, reacted to the taking of her toy with tears and her patented Biting of the Lower Lip technique. Unfortunately, the only person that ever worked on was their father, and Ishida Hanzo was currently on a mission. When Kaori simply kept on glaring at her, Kira did the next best thing – and attacked.

          Naruto stepped back from the two girls rolling around on the floor, not knowing whether he could pull them apart. Plus, at five years old, he thought girls were icky anyway, other than his mom and sisters. The blonde boy turned to see if Kana could help, only to see the older girl looking on at the fight with a smile on her face. _What's there to smile about_? 

          "What're you so happy about?"

          "They get along so well!"

          He could only gape at his cousin's reaction, and wonder exactly how sane any of them were. _What world is she living in_?

          He was still thinking that over when Shira came to pick him up, by which time his Aunt Mana had come home and broken up the fight. She sent Kaori and Kira to their rooms, leaving Naruto to deal with Kana, who was now making him really confused. The girl didn't seem like she had much of a clue about anything. Pretty and nice, but dumber than a bag of hammers.

          Kira was no angel either. The redheaded girl reminded him of that old lady at the fish market who went around saying things that made Shira cover his student's ears. Everyone said she had never gotten laid – whatever that meant - because she was something that had _also_ made Shira cover his ears. Naruto gathered it meant something bad. But then that was really Aunt Mana's problem. 

          Naruto didn't think much of it until he got home, figuring Shira had just dropped him off there so he'd learn how good he had it with his own sisters. Even then it still didn't make much sense. His oldest sister, Yoriko, was already going on missions with her Genin team, and had no time to tease her brother as she had in the past. The worst Aoi-neesan had ever done was to wrap him up like a mummy while practicing her medical skills on him, and Azusa-neesan only ever needed his help to chase down the wild animals she was constantly bringing home. They had nothing on the Ishida sisters for sheer weirdness or scariness.

          The heir of the Clan only got suspicious when he saw the look on his Grampa's face. He knew that look; Grampa only got that serious when he was about to ask a "painful" question. Not painful in the sense that people would cry, like the parents of that Jirobou kid who had become a missing-nin. Painful as in asking Naruto whether he'd like to run laps around the village or swim upstream through the river that day.

          "I hear you had some fun with your cousins today."

          Fun? Well, being able to use the Earthquake Fist had been fun. The rest had just been weird.

          "I guess so."

          "Good, good! Because I'm going to have one of those girls, er, join your training sessions in a few years. I thought I'd give you a chance to see which one you like best. Do you know which one that is?"

          What kind of choice was that? One was dense, and another was, well, scary. But Naruto knew full well that when his Grampa asked him a question, he expected an answer. And if he didn't want Kana _or_ Kira constantly in the dojo with him, there was only one answer he could give.

          "Kaori."

          It would be quite some time before Yamazaki Naruto realized just how lucky he'd been in making that decision. Until that happened, though, he had one more problem to deal with, coming out of that same choice.

          He was passing by the closed dining room when he heard his Aunt Mana's voice through the heavy oaken door. Perhaps that was why his Grampa had let him off so early today – his cousins must have been visiting. That alone gave the five year-old a reason to begin tiptoeing down the hall back to his room. Several steps later Naruto stopped, catching sight of someone sitting in a chair further down the corridor – Kaori. The red-haired girl was holding the teddy bear he'd bumped off the shelf a week ago, and looking very bored indeed. 

          Well, Kaori wasn't so bad. If it had been any of her sisters, the blonde boy probably would have taken off running in the other direction. He'd gladly have accepted the spanking his mother would give him for being so rude to a family member if it meant avoiding those weirdos. But since she was here, he might as well say something. Typical of someone who'd grown up with Yamazaki Kantaro, it was completely tactless.

          "Your sisters didn't come here with you, did they?"

          Naruto's cousin shook her head violently. It was pretty clear she shared his low opinion of Kana and Kira.

          "Nuh-uh. Mommy only came with me. Don't know why, but she looked mad. Not at me or Kira neither; I think she was mad at Grampa."

          That didn't clear up the mystery – everybody in the village got mad at his Grampa at one time or another. The smart ones kept their mouths shut until he was out of earshot, and the dumb ones got smart very quickly once his Grampa responded to criticism. 

          As for which one Aunt Mana was, it quickly became obvious when one of her shouts got so loud even he and Kaori could hear it clearly.

          "Father, I don't believe you! You expect me to risk my daughters' future in a marriage with a demon?"

          _Demon? Marriage?_ The second he knew nothing about, but Naruto was plenty suspicious about the first. He sometimes heard people whispering that word when he would be walking in the village. At first he'd thought they were talking about Shira – the Jounin _did_ stand over seven feet tall. But then the same thing would happen when he was out with anyone else, even his sisters. As much as they enjoyed teasing their younger brother about the whisker-like things on his face, Yoriko, Aoi and Azusa hardly reminded anyone of demons.

          When the dining room was closed, it meant whatever was going on was private. The parents of that Jirobou kid had gone in there to beg forgiveness from Naruto's father and grandfather. His mom also used the dining room for punishment and stern lectures. Anyone who stuck their nose into such things always got at least a good talking to; none of the Yamazaki children were dumb enough to do it again after their first time. But the Tsuchikage's only son was getting a little tired of being kept in the dark, his legendary curiosity getting the better of him. Opening the door, Naruto stuck his head inside the room.

          "Who's a demon?"

          He saw his aunt immediately clap a hand over her mouth. His Grampa looked annoyed, his mom looked concerned, and for one of the rare times in his life, Yamazaki Naruto saw pure, unfettered rage in his father's eyes, fire so hellish you could see it even under his peaked Kage hat. 

          Daimaru spoke first, his voice disturbingly calm.

          "Mana, if you ever call my son a demon again, I swear I will make you regret it, sister or not."

          Before she could respond, Kantaro made as if to go towards his grandson.

          "Let me explain, boy…"

          The Fifth Tsuchikage cut his father off sharply.

          "Father, sit down! I'll handle this. On anything else in the family, I'd defer to you, but Naruto's my son before he's your student."

          Scooping his son up off the floor, Yamazaki Daimaru strode out of the dining room, leaving three stunned family members in his wake.

          "Come on, kid. We gotta talk."

          The Fifth Tsuchikage didn't say much for a while, as he carried Naruto up to the highest point in the entire village. The blonde boy looked down and beheld his home, laid out before his eyes. 

          In keeping with their focus on the earth and its powers, the people of the Hidden Stone Village (and the Earth Country as a whole) were as considerate of nature as possible. Their home was the largest of all five major Hidden Villages, spread out over more than a dozen square miles and crisscrossed by seven rivers. 

          Before the First Tsuchikage had united his people, the area had been known as Nanamagari (Seven-Spiral Path); some locals still called it by that name. You could see homes everywhere; made from natural caves, built into hillsides, and even some inside the trunks of great trees that had fallen to earth. 

          Above Daimaru and his son, giant windmills turned, supplying power to the village along with solar panels atop the houses and water wheels on the rivers. Unwilling to risk harm to the earth they lived on, the people of the Stone did their best to keep things natural – even if it meant they lacked some of the "modern" technology of other villages.

          "I come here sometimes, to remember what my duty is. Everyone has a duty, after all, and you shouldn't ever lose sight of it."

          Naruto looked up to see his father take the Kage hat off and set it on the ground. The Fifth Tsuchikage let his son down off his shoulders and looked down upon his village and people, blonde hair waving in the wind.

          "Am I a demon like Aunt Mana says, Daddy?"

          Daimaru knelt down, looking into his son's confused eyes.

          "Sit down, Naruto. I'm gonna tell you a story."

          "Okay."

          "A long time ago, there lived a demon fox with nine tails. It was a scary creature, so tough it could level whole villages with the swipe of a tail. And one day, it decided to attack the Leaf Village. Killed a bunch of shinobi, even some really good ones, and nobody could figure out how to stop it until a hero showed up."

          "Who was it?"

          "Their leader, the Fourth Hokage. He was to the Leaf what I am to the Stone. The Hokage was a smart guy, and he finally came up with a plan. He would seal the demon away, so it could never hurt anybody again. And he did seal it away, inside a little baby boy. Inside you, Naruto."

          The blonde boy pulled his shirt up and looked at his belly button, not seeing anything there (the seal having faded since Kantaro had seen it long ago). 

          "Where is it? I don't wanna have it in me."

          "Nobody can see it, son. Nobody can be hurt by it anymore, not even you. It's just that some people are too stupid to see that at first. That's how come you live in the Stone Village, instead of the Leaf Village."

          Puzzled, Naruto asked his typical question.

          "Why?"

          "The people there were too afraid and angry. They didn't see that you'd done them a big huge favor, just that there was something to fear. But your mom wasn't as scared. She knew what you really were, so she brought you here, to be part of this family."

          "If I'm not a demon, then what am I, Daddy?"

          Daimaru turned the boy's head to look straight at him.

          "You're two things to me and to the village, Naruto. You're my son, the heir of the Yamazaki Clan. And you're a hero. Because of you, nobody ever has to be scared of the demon again, or sacrifice another child. People who fear you are just being stupid, looking for an excuse to hate something.

          "But don't let it swell your head. All heroes have duties, and yours is to become strong, to protect your family and the village. You have to make sure that you're in control, and not the demon. Work on that every day and you can sleep at night knowing what the idiots say about you is wrong, and ignore their squawking. You'll know that you're doing your duty. That's all that matters to your mom and I. Understand?"

          Naruto looked down at his belly button and then up at his father.

          "Yes, Daddy."

          Daimaru snorted.

          "The hell you say. I'm not gonna hold you to that; you're too young to get it all. Only thing you have to know for now is that your mom, your sisters, Grampa, Shira, Aunt Yuki and all the people in this village love you. You are not a demon to us. As for your Aunt Mana…she'll come around. I'm not gonna give her any other choice."

          His son still looked like he was thinking something over.

          "What else you got a problem with?"

          "How come Aunt Mana was talkin' about people gettin' married?" 

          The Fifth grunted, looking annoyed.

          "You know how your Grampa is. Always lookin' to make the family blood stronger. When you became a hero and the demon went inside you, you got even stronger than you were already. So your Grampa wants you to marry someone from the family, and 'cause you can't marry your sisters, he gave you a choice of one of your Aunt Mana's girls. Remember when he asked you which one you liked?"

          "I said Kaori."

          "Well, that's the one your Grampa wants you to marry. I still say he's lost his mind, but you got plenty of time to worry about that. For now, just be friends with her and see what happens. You don't need to think of it any other way until you're older. Now come on, we've been jabbering about this nonsense long enough. Your mom's probably worried sick, and I'm getting hungry. How 'bout it? Ready to get washed up for dinner?"

          "Okay!"

          It would not be the last time Yamazaki Naruto would have to deal with his unique problems. This time, at least, things worked out just fine. Raising his son onto his shoulders, the Fifth Tsuchikage leaped down and headed back to the rest of his family.

          "Come on, son. Let's go home."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Don't you just love flashback-type chapters? ^_^;

I've already given Naruto a new family, new home, and a new fiancée, so what's left, you say? Next chapter, Naruto becomes a Genin of the Stone, complete with teammates and a sensei. Until then, stay tuned and keep reviewing.


	3. Official Things

**Naruto: Set in Stone**

by The SOC Puppet

**Chapter 3 – Official Things**

Summary: Naruto was accepted by the Stone Village, and his grandfather made him the heir to the Yamazaki Clan, complete with a "stealth" fiancée, Kaori. Though his aunt objected to him as a "demon," Naruto's feelings were smoothed over by his father, the Fifth Tsuchikage.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in this story, except for originals that may pop up along the way. All jutsus are also not my property, other than the ones I think up.

" " – Speech

_Italics_ – Thoughts

"Okay, let me get the ground rules out for you. Winner is determined by touches – power moves are acceptable, but I don't want anybody going for the kill. You use something with lethal intent, and I'll kick your ass myself. Got it?"

Yamazaki Naruto shrugged. His grandfather had been organizing daily family sparring matches since he was three; the rules were always the same – including that they sparred out in the wasteland because of the damage their techniques could do. Over the years, various things had whittled the morning ritual down to just this match – ten-year old Naruto against his oldest sister, fifteen-year old Yoriko.

It was a pain to doing _anything_ that early in the morning, but it was worse fighting such a tough opponent. Yoriko had nothing but the title of Tsuchikage in her sights. As many times as she denied it, that desire to be better than everyone (and him in particular) came out in sparring matches. _No lethal intent, my ass. Gramps doesn't think it's lethal until you can see the blood spill._

Yoriko gave him one of her patented Death Stares, and then vanished, the last Naruto saw of his sister a tail of brown hair flying behind her. It reminded him again that he'd have to be careful.

Of the three Yamazaki daughters, Yoriko was the only one who took after Mizuki in looks, with brown hair instead of blonde. She was also the only one who had any desire to become a full-fledged combat shinobi. Perhaps unfairly, all of the pressure to match Naruto had fallen on Yoriko. So when she teased him more, or was less willing to train with him, Naruto took in stride. Fighting her was dicier. How much so became clear when a hand burst out from underneath him.

"Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu (Earth Element: Inner Decapitation Technique)!"

Naruto snarled, already leaping forwards, away from his starting point. _Like I'm going to fall for that!_ If there was one good thing about fighting Yoriko, it was that she was fairly predictable. His sister always started the fight with the same move. Now it was up to him to outthink her and come up with a good counter. By the time his feet touched the ground again, he had a familiar move ready to go.

"Doton: Jishin Ken (Earth Element: Earthquake Fist)!"

Naruto had more chakra to use on the Earthquake Fist now, and its effects were far stronger. He knew it wouldn't be nearly enough to defeat Yoriko, but that wasn't the point. _One quake and all of the tunnels she dug for the Inner Decapitation Technique will collapse. Force her into the open and you can see what's coming…not that it's any easier to win that way._

If there was one advantage Yoriko had, it was their mother. She'd had access to Mizuki's knowledge of Water jutsus for five more years than Naruto. The younger boy knew his share, but Yoriko was constantly surprising him with new attacks. Naruto was quickly learning to hate surprises.

"Suiton: Suishouha (Water Element: Water Wave)!"

Water coalesced around Yoriko, drawn out of the moisture in the air, rising to spin around the girl. When she opened her eyes, the wave surged towards Naruto, a wall of liquid bent on crushing him underneath its weight.

Yoriko stared at Naruto, wondering why he wasn't doing anything. When her brother's hands started moving, she cursed. As much as _he_ hated her experience in Water, Yoriko wasn't happy with the lessons Kantaro and Shira had given Naruto in Earth. But then this was her brother. Abandoned by one village, and forced into all sorts of things by another. She _knew_ instinctively he held back in these fights, humoring Kantaro and not wanting to hurt anyone. But how much was he holding back? How big of a threat would he be when the Tsuchikage title became open? _Show me, Naruto. If you're strong enough, at least I'll enjoy the fight we have someday._

"Doton: Ganshou Kanketsusen (Earth Element: Magma Geyser)!"

The earth shook as a column of molten magma surged upwards from Naruto's position, angled at the water wall and straight at Yoriko. When the two forces met, the burning metal overwhelmed the water in a cloud of steam. When Yoriko's sight cleared, Naruto was gone.

_Damn! I should have known he'd use magma to counter. All the steam let him get away and plan another strike. And to top it off, that magma's still coming at me!_

Naruto tried to learn any new attack he saw, especially if he saw the hand seals. Most of the time, to his sister's disgust, he succeeded after less time than she'd taken to learn the same thing. Yoriko had a counter, but could she risk using it and having him use it against her later? Rather than become a fried kunoichi, she chose safety.

"Suiton: Sokusei Hyouki (Water Element: Instant Ice Age)!"

Gathering water into her mouth, the brown-haired girl sprayed it outwards in a wide angle, spreading it into mist rather than in a stream. As the mist met the onrushing magma, it cooled to an arctic temperature, flash freezing the molten death that had threatened her, a line of hardened rock snaking back to Naruto's original position.

_Where did he go?_

The earth rumbled again, but before Yoriko could look around to see the cause, the ground collapsed beneath her, the sides of the new hole flowing and stretching into the form of a inhuman maw, complete with jagged teeth.

"Doton: Gametsui Koketsu (Earth Element: Grasping Jaws of Death)!"

Naruto emerged from his own set of tunnels as the earth swallowed his sister, the mouth closing and warping into the form of a dome. Even as he exited the underground, he was planning his next move._ That won't hold her long. Got to figure out what's coming next while she's blind._

He didn't have to wait long.

"Suiton: Hyouryu Ken (Water Element: Ice Dragon Fist)!"

A shining form burst out of the earth dome, taking the shape of a dragon, the ice crystals that had formed it gleaming in the sunlight. Yoriko watched through the hole she'd just created to see where her brother was – and watched in horror as the frozen dragon plowed into him.

The smaller combatant stumbled to his knees, a gaping hole visible in the left side of his torso, and Yoriko raced out of the dome, mouth open in shock. _What have I done?_ As much as she saw him as a rival for glory, and an obstacle to be passed, Naruto was still her brother. The little boy who had grown up idolizing her, thinking she was cool when others simply saw an arrogant girl. The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt him.

Yoriko stopped short when Naruto's body began to dissolve, slowly turning into dust that blew away in the slight breeze.

_Koujin Bunshin no Jutsu (Dust Clone Technique)!? Damn him! He knew I'd feel guilty and leave myself open!_

"Doton: Daichi Shibun Goretsu Ha (Earth Element: Earth Disruption Wave)!"

Yoriko turned to see Naruto place his hands on the ground, completing the seals of their father's first created jutsu. The earth shook again; suddenly the ground beneath her feet wasn't so solid anymore.

Daimaru's favorite jutsu was capable of doing several things, such as turning rocks into dirt, earth into mud, and if it could be controlled well enough, even turning dirt into quicksand. She had no idea when Naruto had learned their father's jutsu –the Fifth Tsuchikage used it often enough – but he'd learned it well. Already she could feel herself sinking, the quicksand dragging her down.

At the same time as she thanked the gods for her brother's safety, Yoriko resolved to give him a thorough thrashing later for giving her a near heart attack. _And thinking a little quicksand would finish me off, for that matter. You're not the only one who knows Earth jutsus!_

"Doton: Seki Sentou no Jutsu (Earth Element: Stone Spire Technique)!"

A column of rock shot upwards from underneath her, blasting Yoriko out of the pool of quicksand and into the air, hands already moving for her next attack. She – and Naruto, doing the same on the ground – froze when a voice snapped into the battlefield, cracking like a whip.

"_FATHER!_ What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?"

Kantaro turned to see Mizuki standing at the edge of the wasteland, the Death Stare Yoriko had given Naruto in her eyes, only magnified. The retired Kage quirked an eyebrow.

"Sparring. What's it look like?"

When Mizuki responded, her voice was dripping with sugary sweetness. Yoriko and Naruto winced – their mother _never_ used that voice with anyone unless she was about to go bananas.

"You have no idea what day it is, do you?"

"Monday, I believe. So what?"

"Yes, Monday. The First of May, in fact. Does that ring a bell?"

"Can't say it does. Daimaru screwed with my yearly schedule when he took over, as you'll remember."

"Oh, really? Your grandson has been looking forward to this day for months. That has no effect on your memory?"

Yamazaki Kantaro opened his mouth to speak, and then stopped short. _Oh, bloody hell_.

Mizuki looked on, the expression on her face becoming more annoyed by the second.

"You know now, don't you? Today is the day of the Genin Exams, and when the class pictures are taken. The day I did an extra-large load of laundry and ironing for, which _you_ have just managed to ruin."

"Mizuki, they always spar in the mornings. Why not dress him in the good clothes when he came back?"

The Fifth Tsuchikage's wife smiled, but her eyes were blazing with anger. Naruto wasn't fooled by the expression and started tiptoeing towards the village. _Better get out now before she remembers I had a hand in this too_.

"He always comes back home and falls asleep after he fights Yoriko. By the time I could get him out of bed, washed again, dressed again and off to the Academy, he'd be late. And you know what happens to students who are late to their own Genin Exam – since it was your idea in the first place."

Kantaro sighed, shaking his head. Anyone who missed their own exam _got_ no exam, and would have to wait an entire year to try again. Miss three times and you got no more chances at all. It would be a shame if the Fourth's grandson violated the very rule his grandfather had written, even if this _was_ his first try at the Genin rank.

The way Naruto slept, it was a miracle if he ever made it to the Academy on time – on normal days. To have to go back home now, shower, change and dress again would easily make him miss his exam.

"We can always tell the clients dirt builds character."

"Very funny," Mizuki growled. "Then you can explain to the village why your grandson will look like a starved, beat-up waif until he reaches Chuunin and takes another picture."

Kantaro shook his head, at which point he noticed that only Mizuki now shared the battlefield with him.

"Speaking of which, where'd the scamp go?"

"To school, like he should have. He knows perfectly well I don't want to see him right now. As for Yoriko, she has a mission coming up. I haven't even gotten to _that_ yet."

The Fourth Tsuchikage sighed, cursing his fate and preparing to be ranted at.

_Women these days…_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Are you seriously going to the Exam looking like that?"

Naruto scowled at the red-haired girl who walked beside him, the sleeves of her kimono swaying as she moved. Kaori, also ten, had her own training most days that she hated just as much. His fiancée didn't talk much about it, but Naruto gathered it had something with Aunt Mana trying to turn the tomboyish girl into a "proper lady."

_Yeah, right. Good luck with that. You'd have a better shot getting Shira to wear panties_.

"If I go home now, I'll be late. What about you? You look like one of Kana's dolls. You wanna be stuck looking all foofy until we get promoted?"

Kaori scowled this time, picking at a loose thread on her sleeve.

"My mom was going to do my hair until I talked her into giving me the kimono."

"Never mind," Naruto winced. "You got off lucky."

Ishida Mana fancied herself a good hairdresser. Her daughters had a different opinion, especially when their mother's elaborate hairdos left them struggling to hold their heads straight.

"You ever get the feeling your mom really wanted to be a geisha? I mean, she's got you learning ikebana (flower arranging), the tea ceremony, dressing like a geisha…what's next? Folk dance?"

Kaori's hand met the back of her fianc's head.

"Don't go giving her ideas. You know she would."

Naruto grinned, unrepentant.

"She hasn't already?"

Kaori grumbled and pulled her left sleeve back, revealing a bracelet with a small crystal orb embedded inside, the characters "Juuryoku (Gravity)" engraved on its surface.

"Not while I have this to train with, she won't."

Kantaro wanted them married to extend the Yamazaki line, but he was also betrothing Naruto and Kaori for the Ishida family's Bloodline Limit. Clan Ishida had long ago been given the ability to control natural forces, embodied in eight sacred orbs, one for each force – Gravity, Weather, Temperature, Light, Friction, Time, Luck and Chaos.

Kaori's father controlled the strongest orb, Time. Her aunt used Weather, while her uncle had Friction. The two most unpredictable orbs, Luck and Chaos, had to be used in tandem, to protect the user of the Chaos orb. That duty had gone to her older sisters, Yuri and Maki.

Kaori was a special case. With only the five Ishida sisters to continue the clan, her father and the Clan elders had decided to let the strongest control the most orbs, making her children the stronger descendants. To them, Kana was too passive and Kira too aggressive to have such responsibility. Kaori had been given the remaining three orbs – Gravity, Light and Temperature. She wasn't complaining – the training required to master three orbs took her out of the house all the time.

Naruto wasn't always certain how to treat the girl. He barely even thought of Kaori as his fiancée. Kantaro was dead set on the idea, but both his mother and Aunt Mana had concerns about forcing the two children together. Having them train together had been bad enough in the beginning, when Kaori was only using the Gravity orb. He'd never quite gotten over being dribbled up and down like a ball the first time she'd used it on him.

"Sure, flaunt the Bloodline. Your family oughta just get big old capes and write out your powers on the back. Go all out."

Naruto and Kaori didn't even have to look to know who'd spoken. The redhead waved a hand lazily at the figure leaning against a nearby doorway.

"You're one to talk, Mister Look-How-Big-A-Sinkhole-I-Can-Make. Have you paid back Old Man Kawakami yet for busting up his doghouse last week?"

"Who's the one who set the targets up on the edge of his lot?"

"It's called practicing control, Juzo. You know, so you don't kill the examiners when they ask you to show your strongest jutsu?"

"They're adults. They can take it."

Takeda Juzo, the same age as Naruto and Kaori, seldom disguised his contempt for the Stone Village's older generation. Naruto could hardly blame him. Juzo and his entire family had basically been condemned by most of the village for the actions of one person – his older brother. Takeda Jirobou had gone rogue and left the Stone when Naruto was four. Daimaru had defused the crisis and shut down outright slander of the Takedas, but there was only so much the Tsuchikage could do. Backstabbing and gossip are never easy to police.

Grown and experienced shinobi, the older Takedas weathered the criticism. Juzo, who had idolized his older brother, was another story. Gradually, as the years passed, Jirobou remained a criminal, and kids kept teasing him, Juzo's attitude – and tongue – had gotten sharper and more cynical. It had gotten him into more and more fights, sometimes winning, but most of the time being ganged up on. Without allies, it had been a pretty bleak existence. At least until the day the fights got even.

To be defended was enough of a surprise. Juzo was too proud to ask for help, and as an outcast he'd never expected it. But to be defended by the most privileged child in the village, Yamazaki Naruto, had stunned everyone. When one of them asked Naruto why, the blond boy shut them all up with one phrase.

"Any one of us could go through the same thing if someone in our family screwed up if the rest of us just sat there and kept our mouths shut."

The Yamazaki family had never lied about who Naruto was. Or, even riskier, _what_ he was. It had become a point of village pride that _they_, the people of the Stone, had accepted Naruto, and not blamed him for the crime of another, as the Leaf had. Pride they had to keep secret from other villages, but pride nonetheless. By holding himself and his story out, the Tsuchikage's son had ended the teasing. He'd also gained himself a reluctant, yet admiring companion. Naruto didn't mind that Juzo was constantly challenging him and trying to match his accomplishments. It was better than having kids fawn on him on their parents' orders, to get a little influence or popularity.

Naruto cast a jaundiced eye at his friend's worn-out practice gi.

"You look like a reject from a bad martial arts movie. Couldn't you find anything cleaner to wear?"

The stocky boy shrugged.

"This was my brother's when he was my age."

"So you're going in there dressed as him? The girls' costume sleepover is next week at Kaori's house, not tonight. You can impress her friends then. All you're gonna do today, looking like that, is piss the examiners off."

"Exactly my goal."

Naruto sighed, shaking his head slowly like Kantaro did with him.

"The only way you're ever going to be allowed out of the Earth Country to find Jirobou is if you're Anbu, one of the elders' most trusted. Flunk the Genin tests, you'll never even get out of the village."

Juzo levered himself out of the doorway and walked out into the street, moving towards the Academy with Naruto and Kaori in tow.

"So what? If I don't get to go find him, you're gonna be next in line to get the job."

"Pal," Naruto grumbled, "you don't want that to happen."

"Now what're you babbling about?"

Kaori cleared it up, always ready to tweak the third member of the trio.

"Naruto defends you and hangs out with you because you're innocent. You and your parents never committed any crime. But however you look at it, Jirobou did. He didn't get kidnapped, he left on his own. If Naruto or any other ninja gets assigned to hunt him, they'll be ordered to kill him. If you want him to get a second chance, you'll have to do it yourself."

Naruto stared hard into Juzo's eyes, willing his friend to understand.

"Acting like a jackass won't make anybody trust you, man. Swallow a little pride, be a gentleman about the backbiting, and you'll sail through. We've done too much training not to get through this now."

"Easy for you to say, Mister I'm-The-Tsuchikage's-Son."

The blonde boy threw his hands up in exasperation.

"You kidding me? Between Shira, my dad, and Gramps, my tests are going to be the hardest of anybody's. If I get through it without getting myself dirty, banged up and wasted again, it'll be a miracle."

"Gluttons for punishment, aren't we?"

Naruto and Kaori grinned as Juzo growled their unofficial motto.

"Better believe it."

---------------------------------------------------------------

"All right, you little imps. Who's got the guts to take on the Genin tests first?"

Iguchi Magoichi, Shira's father, was the principal of the Hidden Stone's Academy, which was probably the perfect job for him. The old man literally looked like the very rocks that surrounded the village. His grizzled, battle-scarred face had been the butt of plenty of graffiti and jokes over the years, which Magoichi responded to with plenty of his own insults.

Naruto, Kaori and Juzo were more than familiar with the old man's habits, and beat him to the punch by stepping forward.

"Well, well. If it isn't the Heir, the Turncoat and Nature Girl. Figures you three would try and upstage me – again."

Juzo opened his mouth to snap a reply, but Naruto and Kaori's elbows jabbing him in the side shut him up. Kaori did the talking instead.

"Can we all act like normal people _one_ day out of the year?"

Magoichi sighed theatrically.

"Kids these days. Dish out the insults, but ya can't take 'em."

Naruto rolled his eyes at the old man's usual reaction. They'd played this game since he was six years old.

"You oughta put all that energy into making up the tests, Principal. Wouldn't want everybody to sail through Genin qualifying. How would you look?"

"Better than you, as always."

"Principal," Naruto snorted, "I told you your bathroom mirror was warped. You never fixed it?"

"Pshaw! Just for that, you're taking the first turn at the testing area. Show your classmates how it's done."

Naruto shrugged as Magoichi shooed him towards the Academy testing grounds.

"Like you weren't planning on putting me first up anyway, to show 'em you ratcheted up the test this year."

"How well you know me, my tiny nemesis."

"Less theatrics, more testing. Let's get this over with."

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"Now, then. The first quality we look for in shinobi is the ability to survive a fight without wasting a lot of chakra on jutsus. You're going to be going on your share of long missions, and there'll be times when you've got little or no chakra to rely on. This test simulates a battle, and you'll have to get through the course without using jutsus. You _can_ concentrate your chakra, but pick and choose your spots; you'll only get to do it three times. Any more, and a penalty will be added to your time."

Naruto grumbled as he was herded to the starting line.

"Why don't you just say you think jutsus are for wimps and be done with it?"

"It's called courtesy to the weak. Scared already?"

The Tsuchikage's son rolled his eyes and stretched.

"You wish."

The course that had been laid out was a flat stretch of land, fenced off by a barrier high enough to shield spectators from most of the debris, and low enough to let everyone see what happened. Naruto knew it wouldn't stay flat for long.

_Knowing the Principal, he won't let me go straight through. He'll want to drag this out, make me zig and zag all over the place. Let's oblige him and see what he does_.

Expecting his student to head straight for the exit, Magoichi blinked in confusion as Naruto dashed for the side of the obstacle course furthest away from him. The boy knew him a little _too_ well. Looking over at the group of Jounin ringing the course, the Academy Principal waved them forward.

"What are you standing there for? Get to work!"

The gathered shinobi exploded in a frenzy of hand seals and chants, earth and rocks rising from the ground and hurling themselves at Naruto. As soon as he heard the racket from the outside, the blonde boy began moving from side to side, dodging what he could and taking minor hits to save time. Years of being beaten to a pulp by Kantaro had toughened Naruto (or just deadened his nerves) to the point where hitting a stray rock or earthen barrier didn't do much more than slow him down a bit. A weave here, a dodge there, and he continued on, even sliding a few times when two Jounin combined to try and bring him down. The real problem with this course was jutsu – actually, not being able to use any.

To be fair, Magoichi had a point. A lot of times Naruto found himself having to keep from getting too flashy, tossing attacks around where normal actions would do just fine. But what was the point of knowing all these jutsus unless you could use them whenever you had to? He had a hunch the old man was just miffed kids spent so much time practicing their techniques and not listening to boring lectures. _Jazz things up a little. Stick a slideshow or a field trip in there. We might actually get interested_.

By the time Naruto emerged from the course, he had all his chakra remaining – deliberately refusing to give the Principal the satisfaction of using any at all, but he'd fulfilled part of his prediction to Juzo, as his clothes now looked like he'd gone through an uncleaned chimney. _I don't see why Mom complained. If Yoriko-neesama hadn't done this to me, the Principal and Gramps would have done it by the end of the day_. The blonde boy staggered out of the obstacle course and flopped to the ground, face-up.

"I sure hope the salary's good for all the crap you put us through."

"Of course, boy. Spend wisely and you'll have plenty left over."

"In other words, they don't pay Genin any more than they pay you. Great! I get to buy threadbare kimonos and secondhand furniture until I hit Chuunin."

"I'll never understand kids these days. Are there no parents with a sense of style anymore?"

"If you mean the Hiratsukas who run the antique store, even they get out of costume after the shop is closed."

"Bah. You're a lost cause. But don't fret, because your day is done."

Naruto sat up, brushing what dust he could off himself.

"What are you talking about? My grandfather isn't the type to draw up a one-and-out Genin Exam. Neither are you."

"Listen carefully next time, then. I said _you_ were done. I never said anything about your _team_."

Naruto slapped a hand to his forehead, looking over at Juzo and Kaori.

"I haven't even heard it and _already_ I don't like where this is going."

Turning back to the watching crowd, Magoichi bellowed in his best classroom voice – somewhere between a foghorn and a jolly drunkard.

"Kids, this year you're in for a special treat. Since you'll be operating in teams at the Genin level, the Exam was structured to fit the team experience. There are three individual tests, which can only be handled by one member of the team. Once a candidate has taken a test, he cannot take another one. You'll have to choose wisely, and figure out which of you has the best skills to fit each course."

Kaori arched an eyebrow as she glared daggers at the Academy Principal.

"And I guess it's just a coincidence you told us this _after_ the most heavily-trained member of our team took his test?"

The old Jounin shrugged.

"What's that you kids are always writing on the walls? Oh, yes. I must have had a little bout of senility. Oops."

"That tears it," Juzo muttered, "he's a dead man."

The stocky boy got about five steps forward before Kaori snagged the collar of his gi, dragging him back to the waiting area.

"Do that and you'll walk directly into whatever he has planned for us. Shut up and listen first."

"As I was saying," Magoichi grunted, "there are three tests. You've already seen Yamazaki Naruto demonstrate the first: the No-Chakra Course. The second test is a mirror opposite: Chakra Efficiency. Faced with a limitless group of opponents, you may use as many techniques as you can to deal with them – until you run out of chakra. This will serve to test your chakra conservation, control and efficiency, as well as your understanding of how to incapacitate a foe."

Kaori elbowed Juzo in the ribs, nodding over at Magoichi.

"_NOW_ do you see why he was baiting you? He was there when you took out Old Man Kawakami's backyard. He knows you can't control your sinkholes well unless you lay out a huge amount of chakra. Let me do this one."

Juzo sneered at Magoichi, who wasn't looking.

"Forget it. If he wants a fight, I'll give him a fight."

Naruto, who by now had trudged over to his teammates, sighed.

"Dude, when they tell us to live up to the honor of being a Stone shinobi, they don't mean for us to have heads like rocks. Cut the stubborn act. This is a trap and you know it."

"Naruto, I'm not out to butt heads with anybody, but I'm not going to turn tail because some geezer thinks he's got me where he wants me. If I'm ever gonna make the Anbu, I've gotta stand out. If I do great when nobody expected me to, that's a big step, right?"

The Tsuchikage's son looked at his fiancée, shrugging his shoulders.

"Can't argue with that logic, I guess."

Kaori rolled her eyes.

"Ignorance really _is_ bliss."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magoichi glanced at Juzo as he stepped into the second exam area.

"Oh ho, it's the Takeda brat. Come to give us some comic relief?"

"Why?" the wide-bodied boy snorted. "Your face is good enough for that."

"Pshaw! Just for that, you're going first, while the Jounin are fresh."

"Tell me something I _don't_ know. Setting me up to fail is about the only thing I can ever count on people to do."

Juzo began to march towards the examiners, when a hand fell on his shoulder, squeezing in a vice grip. Turning, he saw Magoichi squat down to his eye level.

"Boy, you're going to be hated by a lot of people in this village for the rest of your life, barring a miracle. Whether it's unfair or not, you know better than I do. Can't change that. I _do_ know that this exam is going to be fair to everyone who takes part. Even you. I'd not be Principal if I couldn't even exercise that much control over who becomes a shinobi. Do your best, and if you've got the talent, you'll pass."

"If that's true," Juzo muttered, "what's with the insults?"

Magoichi gave him a toothy grin and stood back up.

"Fair does not always equal nice."

"Gee, you're such a comforting presence."

"If you want comfort, go cuddle up with your mother. I'm here to test you."

"Well, you're testing my patience, so I guess you're doing a great job."

"Patience isn't the goal here. Get cracking and show some efficiency. Taking out all comers is what you do best, is it not?"

"Finally," the younger ninja sighed, "you're actually right about something. I was starting to think you were a lost cause."

Stepping away from Magoichi, Juzo looked around the second test area. It was flat ground, which would make it much easier for his sinkhole techniques to have an effect. _The old man wasn't kidding when he said the tests aren't stacked against us_. All the same, he was going to have problems passing here. Juzo could be stubborn, but he knew his limits and faults quite well. He had never had very good efficiency with his chakra, as Old Man Kawakami could testify. He either got it out all at once, in one huge burst, or he did nothing at all.

For Juzo, then, the second test wouldn't have anything to do with how long he could last. Four or five large sinkholes or perhaps twelve to fifteen smaller ones, and he'd be just about out of chakra. _So the goal becomes taking out as many guys as I can in one fell swoop. Don't have the efficiency to sit around hunting one or two in a group, and they'd just dodge anyway._

"Begin!"

Takeda Juzo wasn't one to waste time. As soon as Magoichi's command went forth, his hands were fluidly moving in sequence.

"Doton: Takou Tsuchi no Jutsu (Earth Element: Porous Earth Technique)!"

A Chuunin to his right mistook Juzo's straight-ahead glare for targeting someone else and slammed gracelessly to the bottom of a fast-opening crater that quickly widened, dropping earth down upon him. As it wasn't actual combat, the stocky boy let the dirt fall loosely around the downed shinobi, and the Chuunin stayed down to simulate a real burial. _If only all of them would go down so easy_.

The secret was out - Juzo didn't need to see his target to take it down. The Porous Earth Technique naturally gave him the ability to sense pressure on the ground in a defined radius; he'd trained himself to feel it all the way out to about fifty feet. If he felt something, he could open a gap underneath it, slowly widen it, and then sit back and watch as the earth collapsed in on itself. Now every last one of the Chuunin and Jounin arrayed against him would be on their toes anytime he even made a motion towards the ground. It was past time for a change of plans.

"Who's next?"

One opponent made as if to jump, and barely leapt clear of a massive hole that opened underneath him, the ground yawning wide, forcing three more nearby Chuunin to dodge too. Juzo did some quick moving of his own, moving clear of shuriken and kunai that were now flying at him. A quick look up revealed at least ten shinobi still left unburied, with a larger group waiting outside the test area, ready to join in at any time. As precious seconds flew by, more and more steel was raining down on him. _The hell with this! Dodge me for once!_ Slamming his hands on the ground again, Juzo formed a hole under himself, diving into the midst of the crumbling earth and letting it absorb the thrown weapons.

For a moment, there was silence, the Chuunin and Jounin looking around to gauge where the Takeda boy would reappear. He didn't keep them searching long. One long-haired Jounin leapt out of the way of a kunai attached to Juzo's right hand, the stocky boy climbing out of a self-dug tunnel. _Yeah, right. If you thought that was going to work, the lack of air down there really must have gotten to you_.

"Come on! I can't be the one doing all the work!"

_That_ had the desired effect. Only this time, instead of tossing weapons his way, some of the Chuunin simply attacked with their fists. _Well, I did ask for it_. A dodge here, a somersault, leaps and bounds were all he could do. _Come on, come on. Everybody join in._

By the time he'd made an acrobatic little circle around the testing area, Juzo was dripping wet with sweat – and grinning like a maniac.

"Hey, enough with chasing my tail. It gets tiring."

Slamming his hands to the ground one more time, the stocky boy spat a curse.

"Chase _this_!"

As luck would have it, the same long-haired Jounin he'd nearly stabbed was his current target. _Not much chakra left. Make it count._

It didn't. The woman (at least as far as he could tell by the curves under the Jounin's baggy clothes) sniffed derisively and flipped herself backwards in a graceful somersault, avoiding the small hole that opened where she'd stood. To everyone's confusion, Juzo laughed.

"Lady, I think it's time you went on a diet."

As soon as the stocky boy finished speaking, the female Jounin landed – and took a fifty-foot circle of earth with her, all ten remaining Chuunin and Jounin dragged along for the ride.

"Geez, you think I can only do it with my hands? That'd be a pretty sorry way to fight a battle."

He would have said more – but Juzo settled for collapsing to earth like a felled tree, out of chakra.

"Eleven knocked out, in three and a half minutes? Well, it's not like we have exacting standards. Consider Stage 2 passed. That just leaves you, Kaori. Up to it?"

The girl in the kimono sighed.

"It's not like there's anyone else left to handle it. Stop trying to be all protective and just tell me what I have to do."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We of the Hidden Stone Village do not start wars or fights with other villages – though we finish them if they begin. As a consequence of our lack of aggression, however, the number of missions available to us is less than that of other villages."

Ishida Kaori was deeply regretting asking the Principal to tell her what to do. That had simply triggered his lecture mode, and put half the audience to sleep.

"Can we get on with it? You have no idea how much this kimono itches."

"No respect, I get no respect from you brats. All right, since _someone_ is being a baby about it. Stone shinobi are hired because we can often accomplish things with grace, style and silence. We have our share of destructive attacks, of course, but those are only used when needed, unlike some other villages I could name. Clients come to us when only the best will do, and no attention can be drawn to the objective at all.

"Thus, the third and final test: Style and Grace. You will be attacked by a group of Chuunin and Jounin, and be asked to deal with them as quickly, gracefully and silently as possible. Those of you with the tendency to run your mouths or bellow battle cries should probably leave this one to your more sensible teammates."

Kaori silently stepped around the principal and into the third area, the largest one yet, bounded by trees instead of rope or cloth. Slipping out of the top of her kimono, she revealed a simple black T-shirt bearing the motto of the Stone's Anbu squads: "Death Is Just Another Obstacle."

The second-youngest Ishida daughter had never wanted to be famous – she'd much rather have been a normal shinobi. But that goal wasn't even reachable now. Not while she was betrothed to a boy who had the expectations of an entire village on his shoulders – and a legacy so dark he never spoke of it except in his most fevered nightmares. To be Naruto's wife meant she would have to be much more than just another shinobi.

For a very long time, she had hated the idea – and him. Naruto still remembered the one and only time Kaori had let that hatred show. Fortunately for her, he'd thought she was just showing off her bloodline. Kaori had no illusions about what Naruto would have done to her if he'd known the real reason she'd treated him like a bouncing ball. The blonde boy had been trained since birth to be strong, even ruthless, in order to keep the demon inside him in check. And after the first assassin had come to kill him for being the only son of the Tsuchikage, his training had only gotten harder.

Of all the things that could have changed the way she thought of him, a scar had done it. A simple knife wound across the back, one she had nearly missed as he changed out of his practice gi one day. Simple, but frightening – her mother had told her that only Naruto's training and instinctive reflexes had kept him from having his spine severed by a Hidden Grass spy. Her problems had seemed very petty after hearing that particular story.

For all his bluster and outward toughness, Naruto needed someone at his side. Someone to share the pain and the burdens with. To live a life like his – constantly unable to relax, to even sleep some nights, to be feared for something he had never asked for, and to know that an entire village still probably wanted him dead – would drive him insane otherwise. Ishida Kaori was not about to let herself be the one who left her own cousin to that kind of fate – whether they were really related or not.

As for the emotional side of it, Kaori tried not to think too much about it. _We're ten years old. It can wait. Besides, the sooner I pass the test and get him out into the field, the sooner I can get Naruto away from Grandpa and his "ideas" about women._ Kantaro was definitely nowhere near as open-minded as his son when it came to issues of gender. The faster Naruto learned that a kunoichi's place was _not_ back at home away from the front lines, the easier it would be to work with him without him always trying to protect her. Kaori had to admit it was fun to let her fiancé do all the work sometimes, but too much of that and she'd be like most other girls at the Academy, pining away for some buffed-out boy and neglecting their own training.

Half a continent away, a girl with pink hair sneezed.

To be honest, Kaori had been glad to see Juzo take the second test. For years, the final part of the Genin Exam had involved the showing off of jutsus in one way or another. Back in her oldest sisters' days, the test had been how many watermelons you could blow up in one attack. Now, it was all about style and grace. And if that wasn't a great reminder that her grandfather's macho mindset was finally wearing off the Academy, nothing was. It was also a good time to remind Naruto that she was much more than just his future wife. _A good little doll is what Grandpa and Mom want me to end up. Too bad Naruto's going to get a girl who's not afraid to kick the crap out of him if he gets out of line. Just the way his luck goes_.

Watching, Naruto shivered slightly at the odd expression on Kaori's face. _Oh, hell. "Girl Power" Mode again. I should have just slept in._ When his fiancée spoke up, the Tsuchikage's son slapped a hand to his forehead. _I do not know this girl. I do not know this girl…_

"What's the holdup? Come on, you apes! You wanna live forever?"

You could say a lot of things about male Stone shinobi – but you definitely couldn't accuse them of cowardice. Growing up under the most macho Tsuchikage in Stone Village history will do that to you. Half of the ten arrayed against Kaori charged. By now, the red-haired girl wasn't even looking at them, concentrating on the seals her hands were forming instead. When she was done, the smile on her face would have scared the pants off any sane attacker.

"Hijutsu: Onmyou Tenka (Secret Technique: Yin-Yang Inversion)!"

To the eyes of most observers, nothing special was going on. Naruto and Juzo knew better; they'd seen enough of Kaori's training to know that chakra was now flowing both towards and away from her, making her the focal point of a zone where she controlled any or all of the forces of Gravity, Light and Temperature. It was almost as if she was standing in the middle of a yin-yang diagram with a small hole cut out of the middle. Anyone who stepped within range of the redhead was in for quite a surprise.

How big a surprise was made clear when three of the attacking Chuunin and Jounin bounced twenty feet into the air while running – and fell to earth in a rather ungainly fashion a second later, as though an invisible hand had snatched them in mid-air and slapped them down.

Another group dashed around behind Kaori and tried a rear assault – only to plunge into an inky black circle of darkness forty feet around and emerge clutching each other, teeth chattering and shivering.

Juzo opened his eyes and laughed.

"She's doin' that Freezer in the Dark thing? Not pulling any punches today."

"They really chose a crappy day to take her on. Even Gramps watches his step around Kaori when Aunt Mana makes her wear something traditional."

The stocky boy snorted.

"Better have that suit of armor handy then, 'cause the day you marry her, she's gonna go all Gojira on you what with havin' to wear all that bridal crap on top of the formal kimono. You'll be the first man in village history to have your honeymoon in a hospital bed."

"See, that's what eloping is for."

"My ass. You know how many girls in the Earth Country know your face from the gossip magazines? You'd never make it past the first farming village without being swarmed by fangirls."

Naruto shuddered.

"Don't remind me. The last time I saw one of their fanclub magazines I might as well have been reading one of those jacked-up doujinshi. Showered for about six hours _that_ day."

"Talking about experience," Juzo grunted, "how long do you think it'll be before those Chuunin and Jounin figure out Kaori's right in the middle of that dark spot and chuck a bunch of stuff at her?"

Naruto nodded at the flashing steel in the air.

"Right about now, I'd say."

Juzo sneered.

"And how long before she lets them know that was a horrible idea?"

"Also right on time."

The dark area moved a bit, engulfing each thrown weapon that entered its range, but otherwise nothing happened. When the attackers approached in person, however, each had to leap back, their own kunai and shuriken falling down from where they had been hurled into the air.

But for all the things Kaori could do, Naruto knew she had to act quick. The Onmyou Tenka had one tactical weakness – the area where the user applied an orb's power could not include the user herself. That rule applied not only on the ground, but in mid-air. Kaori's biggest problem was tending to think only about land-based attacks. If you could get far enough out of her view and jump high enough, you could theoretically land right in the middle of her zone of control, in the "eye of the storm," and from there deal with her normally. As the red-haired girl hated to be reminded, she was a whiz with her orbs, but she had a ways to go in taijutsu.

Naruto gritted his teeth as one of the Jounin farthest away from Kaori motioned to another of the attackers in the language of the Anbu, a simple set of hand signals, to shift around and attack from behind. _Even if I tried to warn her, they'd just act as decoys and direct someone else to jump into the middle. If this doesn't teach her to think in all three dimensions, nothing will_.

Abruptly, as the first Jounin neared the middle of Kaori's control zone, the darkness vanished, Naruto's fiancée pivoting and extending her control up instead of out. The offending Jounin was hurled back away from Kaori, but he'd done his job. His companion, speeding around behind, swept the red-haired girl's feet out from under her.

Magoichi halted any attempt by either side to counter.

"Enough! Candidate is down. A good effort, considering you were mostly neutralizing their attacks and not actively trying to render mortal wounds. Not perfect, especially not the ignorance of aerial attacks, but we don't expect perfection from Genin. If you want to progress any further, though, better work on that in your spare time.

"Yamazaki Naruto, Ishida Kaori, and Takeda Juzo. By the power vested in my rank as Principal, I declare the three of you officially Genin of the Hidden Stone Village. Report to the admin building on Mount Saijo to receive your sensei assignment."

Naruto grinned, looking over at Juzo and Kaori, who still looked peeved over being knocked on her butt.

"Now that's what I like to hear."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi, kiddies! Guess who you drew?"

Naruto slapped a hand to his new forehead protector, momentarily covering the symbol of the Stone Village on its metal plate. _Whatever god is up there has a nasty sense of humor_. His team's sensei was the only full-time teacher he had ever had besides Kantaro, Shira, Daimaru, Mizuki and Magoichi – his Aunt Yuki.

Yamazaki Yuki was by no means dumb or untalented. If she had been, the Fourth Tsuchikage's youngest daughter never would have been a shinobi. She _was_, however, stubborn, vindictive, and great at holding grudges, with a mouth dirtier than a sailor's, usually to be heard bemoaning her nonexistent love life (a consequence of all her other "qualities").

Yuki looked positively happy, which wouldn't have been out of the ordinary – except that Naruto knew she'd been on a date the night before and had come back way too early for anything meaningful to have happened. _Either she's faking, or she's got a very elaborate scheme for revenge cooked up and she thinks she won't get caught._

"Why so stoked, Aunt Yuki? You always said you hate being an authority figure."

"It's not every day I get a high-profile job teaching the three most famous graduates of your class. In fact, the council was so sure you would pass they already have a mission lined up for you."

Naruto's suspicions shot way up, eyes narrowing at his new sensei's expression. _That's bullshit. Genin never get missions on their first day; they're always allowed to go home and celebrate with their families. It's a tradition Great-Grandpa Mugen, the Third, started when the war was at its worst, so that there would be some joy among the sorrow. She's definitely up to something._

From the looks on their faces, Kaori and Juzo either suspected something, or they were just pissed at being dragged off to work after getting tired out by Magoichi. The stocky Genin leaned over to whisper to his teammates.

"What's so important that they would set us up right after graduating? I smell a rat. But then again, what if it's another test? You know, something the Fourth set up to see if we're paying attention or too busy celebrating. We could be walking into another trap if we blow this off."

Kaori shrugged.

"It's still bull, but he does have a point. Let's hear her out."

"Good girl. Now come closer, because missions aren't the kind of thing to be spread far and wide, you know."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are we completely satisfied now that this so-called mission is B.S.?"

Naruto glared over at Juzo and hefted a raw egg from the boxes that lay in front of the three children.

"Stupid missions are a fact of life in the village, we all know that. But let's go over Yuki's little spiel. Some eccentric who just happens to want to decorate his house in egg and toilet paper, and he wants it done now? Please. Are we _that_ gullible?"

Juzo glanced down at the "art supplies" Yuki had left them, an odd look on his face.

"She _did_ say it was a mission. Orders are orders."

Kaori sniffed disgustedly, looking back at her fiancé.

"Naruto, logic and the opportunity to cause mindless destruction don't mix in Big Boy's case. Don't waste your breath."

"Did you ever think the test was _not_ to give in to stupid, irresponsible crap, Juzo? Has that crossed your mind?"

"Does it matter? We've got an excuse either way. Have some fun once in a while. Just because you spent ten years training with a guy who has a stick way up his rear end doesn't mean you have to be the same."

That got under Naruto's skin a bit. Having the trust of the village was not quite the same as having an entire city or country of friends. Being the pupil of Kantaro, Shira and assorted other shinobi had its advantages, but a wonderful social life wasn't one of them. There were times when he really did want to just be a normal boy. To be free of the demon within, the burden of the Yamazaki name, and even the memory of his "exile" from the Leaf. It was tempting to just toss it all aside now and then. But for something this idiotic?

_Oh, the hell with it. How often am I going to have a chance to do this when I'm off in the boonies somewhere gutting some poor sap, climbing the ranks to Tsuchikage?_

"You take the windows, I'll do the roof. Kaori, you've got the TP. And for crying out loud, don't anybody go breaking anything. We're gonna catch enough hell as it is."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yamazaki Naruto stared into his father's eyes, or as much as he could see of them under the peaked hat of his office, but quickly dropped his gaze. It wouldn't help things any. Daimaru looked at Naruto, Kaori, Juzo and Yuki through steepled fingers for quite some time before he spoke, for the first time since the Stone internal MPs had brought the four of them to his office.

"The three of you wait outside. I'll deal with you later."

When the children had filed out, Daimaru turned back to his younger sister, who was surprised to see the lack of anger in his eyes.

"You could have come to me if you were upset at how Goemon treated you, Yuki."

The raven-haired kunoichi snapped a curse at no one in particular.

"I'm a grown woman, ni-sama. I don't need you to fight my battles for me."

Daimaru's voice was still soft, but this time it carried a deadly edge to it, just short of malice.

"Yet you seem to have no problems tricking three gullible children into doing just that and luring Goemon out so you could pelt his crotch with rocks for standing you up last night."

Before she could respond, the Fifth Tsuchikage held up a hand, silencing his sister.

"Don't argue with me. You know damn well they all have a reason for wanting to obey orders and prove themselves. Your nephew has an entire village looking at his every move. Your niece is trying to be worthy of handling the most orbs any Ishida's ever used at one time, and the Takeda boy is shooting for the Anbu. All of them had a valid excuse to believe they were being tested on their ability to follow orders - not that it'll exempt them from punishment. You knew that, and you played all three of them like pawns on a chessboard."

Yuki flushed, but kept her mouth shut, no snappy response forthcoming.

"If you wanted to get revenge, fine. I have no problems with that. But cloaking it as an 'official mission' and using your own students as accomplices is well over any acceptable line I could have drawn for you."

"Fine," Yamazaki Yuki muttered. "Just tell me what I'm getting hit with."

"Oh, don't give me that," Daimaru snorted. "If I did this to anyone else, you'd be howling and rolling on the floor. Since you so successfully convinced the children they were on a real mission, it seems unfair not to pay them. But then we run into another problem - this was NOT official. There was no client - other than you. Therefore, you will assume the responsibility for paying your team's salary for this mission. And if I _ever_ hear of you pulling a stunt like this again, I will personally bust you all the way back down to Genin and put you under Shira's command. Count on that."

"Are you done playing holier-than-thou?"

"Quite. Get out of my sight and send the children in."

Naruto, Juzo and Kaori trudged back into the Tsuchikage's office, the blonde boy in particular unwilling to face his father's eyes. Daimaru leaned back in his chair, sighing.

"Before I start with the lectures, let me just say this. You three do have a valid excuse for following your sensei's orders, given that the Fourth and Principal Iguchi have a history of 'after-hours' testing. But all the same, I don't recall blind, slavish obedience to orders being part of your Academy training.

"Any good shinobi needs to be able to think quickly, and make good decisions in even the oddest situations. If an order seems absurd, if it makes no sense, it is your duty to figure out the possible reason behind it, and do what the situation warrants. The minute Yuki finished telling you what she wanted, you should have known something was wrong."

Juzo, the only one of the three not related to the Tsuchikage, made an attempt to reply.

"Tsuchikage-sama, if you're gonna blame anybody, blame me. I told 'em both this was probably some kind of stupid test Yuki-sensei dreamed up to see if I was Anbu material."

"Nice try, Juzo," Daimaru said, "but Naruto and Kaori have minds of their own. They could - and should - have come to the conclusion that something was off, and convinced you of that. There's no need to explain what you did. I was a kid once too. I know that sometimes the temptation to commit mischief when you don't think there'll be consequences is too great to ignore. That _doesn't_ mean there won't be consequences."

Hearing no indignant responses, the Tsuchikage continued.

"As I said, you had an excuse, which - for this time and this time only - will lighten your punishment. Take tomorrow and clean up as much of the mess as you can. Don't worry about not being able to get everything - what you miss will be Yuki's responsibility. Slack off, though, and you'll be cleaning the entire bloody village. Understand?"

Sullen, abashed mumbling was the childrens' only answer. Yamazaki Daimaru rolled his eyes, and made shooing motions with his hands.

"I'll take that as a yes. The three of you go home and get some sleep. You've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow."

Once the children had left, the Fifth Tsuchikage leaned back again, hands locked behind his head, and allowed himself a small chuckle at the absurdity of the entire day.

"Kids."

_And yes, that includes you, sister dear._

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I now have an actual home page. Well, a LiveJournal, at any rate. There are stories I'm writing that will only be posted there, as I'm quite seriously looking into moving off FFN entirely. Those of you who've talked with me know exactly why.

The new page is located at: www(dot)livejournal(dot)com(slash)users(slash)thesocpuppet.

I know it's not an e-mail address, but considering how much spam I get as it is, I'm not taking any chances.

Next: Naruto's not the only child out there who has a demon to deal with. He's about to find that out for himself…


	4. Beyond The Wall

**Naruto****: Set in Stone**

by The SOC Puppet

**Chapter 4 – Beyond The Wall**

Summary: Naruto, Kaori and their friend Juzo passed the Genin Exam and got their first mission – which turned out not to be a mission after all. Now that they're fully-fledged Genin of the Stone, what adventures await?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in this story, except for originals that may pop up along the way. All jutsus are also not my property, other than the ones I think up.

" " – Speech

_Italics_ – Thoughts

"Come now, boy. You can't keep Naruto bottled up forever. He'll have to emerge into the greater spotlight eventually if he's to advance ranks."

Yamazaki Daimaru glowered at his father as they sat at his desk, inside the Tsuchikage's office. The Fifth looked down at the mission briefings on his desk, and though none of them was any higher than a C-Rank mission, he was still anxious.

"Father, don't make light of the situation. Up until now, Naruto's only been threatened by natural Earth Country enemies or neighboring villages trying deprive the Clan of a male heir. When they discover Naruto's identity, the Leaf _will_ come looking for him. I can protect him inside our borders, but I can't protect him against Leaf hunters or renegades on top of whatever resistance he'll encounter on outside missions."

The Earth Country's isolation from other countries was partly by choice, and partly because of a giant mountain range, known as the Shield Wall, encircling it on two sides; the sea completed that circle to the north and west. On maps, it was an empty, neutral ring around them, keeping them away from the Wind and Fire Countries and sealing in several minor hidden villages: Waterfall, Rain and Grass.

The mountains presented a unique obstacle; so high and treacherous they were all but impassable, they could be traversed only via a few easy-to-defend trails. Of the five major countries, only the Earth Country's borders had never changed in any of the great wars of the past. It was simply impossible to invade. But given the difficulties of maintaining supply lines beyond the Shield Wall, the Earth Country couldn't easily conquer territory outside its natural defense barrier.

Most people of the Earth Country, isolated and non-technological, couldn't have cared less. It kept "corrupting" or "polluting" influences from seeping into their homeland. But the Stone Village was a place where information – and outside information in particular – was invaluable, given the difficulties in observing opponents. Their only recourse for a long time had been sending out parties to conduct surveillance on other Hidden Villages. The surveillance party Daimaru had sent to the Leaf when the Ninetails attacked were the ones who had found Naruto.

He'd never regretted it, but Daimaru knew adopting Naruto had come at a great cost. The Tsuchikage was not stupid enough to believe the Leaf would simply forget his son had ever existed. The Stone Village leader had clamped down on almost all of the information flow into and out of his country. If Naruto hadn't become a Genin, his picture would never have gotten out of the Earth Country. Instead, the Fifth had organized more and more missions on the border, trying to make up for the lost intelligence streams. It helped, but it only went so far.

The missions before him were all outside the Wall, several on the border with the Fire Country, and one on the always-explosive border with the Wind. You couldn't say much for the Sand Village's intelligence, but they were definitely persistent. With their daimyo cutting costs and sending missions to other villages, the Sand found all kinds of excuses to "take out the competition."

Kantaro tapped the Wind Country briefing, drawing his son's attention to the C-Rank mission.

"If you're that uptight about letting him outside the Wall, send him up against the Sand. They'll only be trying to kill him for sport, rather than being a demon's vessel, if that makes you feel any better."

The Fifth rarely appreciated his father's twisted sense of humor. This time was no exception.

"Any other mission, I _would_ send him. But this one is more than just a police action for the Sagami City magistrate. According to his intelligence, the smugglers he's been chasing are operating in both the Wind _and _Earth Countries. If even one of our people goes over the border chasing these scumbags, the Sand will take no time pouring back over onto our side with some cockamamie excuse. It won't get them any territory or influence, but it _will_ create casualties. Wasteful ones. Weren't you the one who always hated wasting resources?"

"Pah. Any Jounin worth their rank would know well enough to stay off the border and let the Sand authorities handle it. If the smugglers are bounding back and forth, it can only be because there's heat on them from both sides of the border."

"I'd agree with you – if any Jounin but Yuki were Naruto's sensei. One insult, one moment of frustration, and she may very well give the Sand their excuse. I can't risk the safety of my son – or my sister – in a situation that tense."

"Daimaru," the Fourth sighed. "It's time she proved herself. She's barely made it into every rank she ever had in this village. If she can't handle even a politically-charged mission, what will you ever be able to trust her with?"

Kantaro's son was unconvinced.

"You're telling me this? From Day One, you've done the most arguing with her. Of everyone in the village, you've always had the worst opinion of her. Why the change of heart?"

The retired Kage stared his successor straight in the eye.

"It's true I don't think much of Yuki. But if I thought she was worthless, I would have told Magoichi flat out she wasn't to get anywhere near Naruto's Genin team. All this time, we've given her things we know she's good at and can handle. That's no longer possible. She's got to show everyone that she's a true Jounin, or else we look like we gave her the rank. Training your future heir sounded like a good test. A mission with political implications is an even better measure of her progress."

"In other words, shape up or ship out?"

The old shinobi's voice was colder than the arctic winds atop the Shield Wall.

"I couldn't agree more."

---------------------------------------------------------

"Smugglers? Isn't that more a B-Rank or A-Rank mission?"

Yuki held her orders between two fingers, as though repulsed by them.

Daimaru shook his head, pointing to the paper in her hand.

"Look for yourself. I had this mission vetted by our intel men in Sagami four times. None of the smugglers are shinobi, just thugs and bruisers. With the firepower of each Earth Country posse sent to shut them down, if they had actual power, they would have had to use it by now. There _is_ one thing…"

Yuki's ears perked up at the slightest hint of intrigue.

"And that is?"

"Intel says these guys are jumping back and forth between the Earth and Wind sides of the border. But the bulk of their time's spent in the Wind Country. Only time they're seen on our side is when they actually have an operation to carry out. Doesn't make any damn sense. The Earth Country throws its criminals in jail, but the Wind Country, well, you're lucky if you even _make_ it to a work camp or a cell. Most smugglers would be smart enough to flip it over and base themselves here. At least they'd survive if they were caught."

"What if they're just stupid adrenaline freaks?"

"Then," the Fifth shrugged, "I'm just being overcautious. But the whole thing stinks. That's why I'm giving you an additional order - under no circumstances are you to cross the Earth-Wind border. Not physically, not with an attack, nothing. The same goes for Naruto, Kaori and Juzo. If the smugglers cross over, let the Wind Country authorities handle them. Eventually they'll either give up or the Wind will take them down. Either way, they can't complain about us invading their turf."

"I thought you said Sagami City wants these idiots taken care of. How do we do that if we can't finish them off?"

Daimaru wasn't about to start giving out hints.

"You're a smart woman, Yuki. You figure it out."

--------------------------------------------------------

If there was one good thing about Yamazaki Yuki, she was an early riser. Not minutes after sunrise on the morning after briefing her team, the kunoichi had packed her three Genin off on the road leading south, towards the border.

"Today," she began as the group exited the Stone Village's gates, "we've got an actual job to do. Sagami City is suffering from a rat infestation. These are special rats - smugglers bringing all sorts of illegal black-market goods into and out of the Earth Country. Fortunately for us, they also operate in the Wind Country. If we can chase them over the border, we'll let their authorities handle it."

Never one to dodge a fight, Juzo was skeptical of those orders.

"Yuki-sensei, we've seen you fight before. Nobody _ever_ gets off clean, or escapes. Why you turning yellow all of a sudden?"

The Jounin replied – after mentally slapping the younger boy upside the head.

"We're dealing with smugglers, not shinobi. These guys don't have our training and power, so they're smart enough not to fight us straight up. Instead, they'll be running at the slightest hint we're coming. We won't be battling them so much as chasing them. And that means we have to be conscious of our environment when we're doing so. The Tsuchikage himself said none of us are to get anywhere near the Wind Country border. That's all the Sand would need to come and attack us for 'trespassing.' Believe me, we don't need that."

Something in the Jounin's voice irritated Juzo, who threw up his arms in disgust.

"What's the big deal fighting the Sand? They're a bunch of pussies that toss wind and fling sand. You ask me, they make Futaba, the drag queen pub bartender, look like the Macho King of the World."

"Read up on your foreign villages studies more next time, then. These guys are nutcases with a capital N. Don't tell me you've never heard your parents or friends whisper the stories that go around."

Kaori sniggered.

"Oh, he's heard some. My older sister Kana, trusting soul that she is, told a story she once overheard from Daddy about a Sand Jounin slicing a man in half from a hundred meters with nothing but a wave of his arm and a vacuum blade. Juzo heard it and fainted dead away. Must have blocked that memory out, huh?"

The Jounin snorted.

"If that was all the rumors said, the Sand wouldn't be any scarier than us. There's only one thing you need to know. Naruto's not the only kid of his kind. The Kazekage's youngest son holds the spirit of an old Sand priest-turned-demon. Naruto's demon is there because someone put it there to save the Leaf Village. The Kazekage's boy? His demon was put in him on purpose – his own father's orders. They wanted a living weapon. That should tell you exactly what these freaks are capable of."

Naruto heard the words but couldn't process them. _On purpose?_ What parent would willingly subject their child to such torture? If this Sand demon was anything like the Ninetails, the Kazekage's son was plagued with a curse that was nearly impossible to control. Naruto had never willingly given into his demon's savage leanings, and had sworn never to do so. The nightmares he occasionally had, flashbacks of everything the fox demon had done over the centuries, were horror enough.

He felt sympathy for the other boy, but the Tsuchikage's son wasn't stupid enough to feel pity or friendship. To be raised as a living weapon was a recipe for disaster – and madness. Naruto had enough problems just trying to suppress the rage and diabolical power that occasionally surged within him. Who would be fool enough to try and embrace them wholeheartedly? Who _could_? A little part of him, the darkness hiding inside, was intrigued at seeing what kind of power the other demon possessed, to measure itself against the "competition." That by itself was disturbing enough.

"Drop the bravado, Juzo. They're hardly weaklings. You remember what happened when that Sand assassin attacked while you were at my house. Imagine that power in someone without any control at all, or even insane. That's a long way away from being a pussy."

Juzo did indeed remember, although he fervently wished he didn't. The Sand assassin had knocked Kaori out, and was halfway through trying to pierce Mizuki with several vacuum blades when Naruto had abruptly turned red and charged him. By the time the nine-year old had finished with his attacker, there hadn't been enough left of the corpse to identify it. The expression on Naruto's face before Kantaro had calmed him down had been evil incarnate.

Daimaru had sent pieces of the assassin's remains to every neighboring Hidden Village (and some distant ones) with a newspaper clipping about the incident. Only the Leaf had been excluded, for obvious reasons. He had retained the skull and mounted it on a pike at the main gate. No assassins had dared strike at Naruto since. The Fifth made no effort to disguise his low tolerance for those who tried. Retaliation for any foreign attacks on his son had been swift, exact, and sadistically brutal. Few people were stupid enough to offend a Yamazaki twice, but there were enough idiots out there that the lesson always had to be taught.

Given the thought of someone who was even _more_ brutal or cruel, it was no wonder Juzo had never considered what might be worse than a demon-possessed Naruto. The heavyset boy shuddered visibly.

"You had to remind me, didn't you?"

"What," Yuki snorted, "you thought all shinobi are as easygoing and quick to make up as us? We're a special case. There's an entire mountain range defending us, and we don't steal enough clients away for any other Hidden Village to take notice. Not everyone has those advantages. You ask me, hanging out in the desert under the sun all the time has fried their brains."

Naruto was tired of discussing insanity – if only because he worried the Ninetails would be encouraged.

"So what's the plan, if we've got one? Just waltz in and beat these smugglers down?"

"The Sagami City Constable will brief us when we get there," Yuki said, "and he'll do what he can to help us out. For now, expect to do a stakeout or two before we move in. Gotta see just when and where they cross over onto our side of the border, so it can be sealed off or we can trap them in."

"And if they run?"

"Play it by ear," his aunt sighed, evidently tired of thinking it over. "Best case scenario, we do force them over into the Wind Country, and make their cops put them away. And if they _don't_, every merchant who runs trade routes through this area will be quite interested to hear how the Wind Country condones smuggling. Pity, that. Now enough talk. We've still got another day or two to go until we pass through the Wall."

-------------------------------------------------------------

_YOU SEEM DISTURBED, HUMAN. I MUST BE SLIPPING. NORMALLY EVEN THINKING OF ME IS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR KNEES KNOCK. NOW I FIND YOU IN FEAR OF SOME OTHER DEMON FROM THE DESERT. FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT. YOU WILL SOON SEE THAT THIS SAND DEMON IS NOTHING IN COMPARISON TO MY POWER._

Naruto wasn't sure what was worse – the nightmares or the occasional visit he was dragged into at the gates of the Ninetails' seal, when he drifted into very deep sleep. Not because of any physical danger; the seal took care of that. It was more because the fox demon was unbelievably annoying. Reduced to bluster, unable to harm its vessel, it took what scant pleasure it could in disrupting the human boy's dreams as much as possible.

It was right about one thing. Naruto rightly feared the demon's influence on him, but he also held very scant respect for it.

"Big words. You can't even get to one lousy human and you're spouting off about beating another demon?"

_TO CALL SHUKAKU OF THE SANDS A DEMON IS TO DISGRACE US ALL. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT HE WAS BEFORE HE ATTAINED HIS POWER? A PRIEST! A FOOL OF A CLERIC!_

"You're shitting me. How's a priest become a demon?"

_IT IS THE FATE OF ALL YOU HUMAN FOOLS WHO BELIEVE THEY CAN COME TO CONTROL AND MANIPULATE THE ENERGIES OF MAKAI. EVENTUALLY, MAKAI CONTROLS THEM, CORRUPTS THEM. SHUKAKU WAS NO DIFFERENT. THE LAST I SAW OF THE FOOL, A TANUKI LORD HAD TAKEN POSSESSION OF HIS SOUL, DRIVING HIM INSANE. A FINE FATE FOR ONE WHO STUDIED US IN ORDER TO SEAL US._

"So you're saying whoever Shukaku is inside doesn't hold a candle to you?"

_WHAT HAVE I, A FULL KYUBI, TO FEAR FROM AN INSANE BADGER? YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE AFRAID. IT IS NOT MUCH OF A DEMON, BUT A MERE HUMAN CANNOT HOPE TO STAND AGAINST IT._

"And so it all comes down to the same bullshit from you again. Embrace you and I can beat anything."

_THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH. WHY DO YOU RUN FROM IT?_

"Maybe because I've seen pictures of what you've done. Or just because I feel like it, you fuzzy lunatic. Pretty much the same thing."

_SAY WHAT YOU WILL, HUMAN. IF YOU ARE FOOL ENOUGH TO FIGHT THE VESSEL OF SHUKAKU, YOU WILL NEED ME. THEN WE SHALL SEE HOW FAR YOU CAN RUN._

As it usually did when Naruto started ignoring it, the Ninetails retreated into a sulk, its red glow disappearing from view. Tonight was not like usual – by now Naruto would have been smiling. The Tsuchikage's son wasn't. Why he wasn't smiling was simple – this time, there was a very good chance the Ninetails was telling the absolute, stone-cold truth. Suddenly his first mission outside the Shield Wall loomed very ominously.

He tried to calm himself down. If the other boy was a Kage's son, surely they must have taken the same precautions as the Tsuchikage had taken with Naruto, like keeping him close to home for a while. Why waste him on a task like hunting down powerless smugglers?

The more he thought about it, the less that reassured Yamazaki Naruto. His life had so far defied every logical barrier in its path. The blonde Genin had a sinking feeling that the demon vessel from the Sand would be no different.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Sagami City was like any other border city in the Earth Country. Haphazardly built, there was no rhyme or reason to the buildings in its streets – which were themselves laid out like a patchwork quilt, cobblestones meeting asphalt, the old and the new. They simply existed, thrown up to feed whatever new need its citizens could think up.

The same couldn't be said for the massive concrete wall bisecting the place, sealing off the city from a similar settlement on its other side in the Wind Country. More than fifty feet high, topped with razor wire, it was obviously there for one reason – keeping people from going back and forth without prior permission.

But that reason paled when you saw the steady stream of people moving back and forth through the wall's two gates, a half-mile apart. Yuki's eyebrow twitched in irritation as she looked on.

"I can see why they needed some outside help with their border patrols."

"Yuki-sensei," Kaori smiled (with poorly disguised contempt), "don't you remember? Daimyo Kurasaka started an Open Door Policy three years ago when he took the throne, so the Earth Country wouldn't be so isolated. Most people still don't go past the Wall, but new culture's slowly seeping in."

Juzo grimaced.

"Guess there's something to that Sand trap theory after all. Who'd bother to smuggle if all you have to do is walk through a hole in the wall?"

"We don't know that for certain," Naruto muttered. "A lot of things are banned in the Wind Country. Anything above a bladed weapon, items that can be concealed easily to help prisoners escape, like small tools a visitor could smuggle in. They're _not_ bringing stuff into our country, they're taking it out. With the contempt the Wind has for the Earth, no guard would bother searching someone who comes back over to their side. They don't think we have anything worth stealing or smuggling, what with normal Earth Country people's lack of technology. To them we might as well be ignorant hicks."

Yuki shook her head, looking at the mass of people going in and out of the gates.

"Doesn't mesh. Most of our border city authorities wouldn't bat an eye at people taking tools or weapons out of the country. Earth Country doesn't produce anything along those lines you can't find elsewhere. If Sagami City wanted these clowns caught, it's because they're making it an entry point for something."

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Contraband, if you must know. They're bringing large quantities of narcotics, technology with high pollution quantities and assorted other banned items."

Sagami City's Chief Constable, Murayama Sosuke, was as rugged-looking as his hometown, and as irritated as Yuki had guessed he would be. Like most frontier lawmen, Chief Murayama was not pleased at having a case on his hands he couldn't solve himself. The Jounin wasn't buying his explanation.

"And what would they get paid with? Last I checked, the Earth Country keeps all precious metals and gems within its borders. Nothing of any value gets anywhere near the borders unless the daimyo approves, and anything that does go there is escorted by Stone-nins."

"Actually," the Constable grumbled, "you'd be surprised. They want crops."

The gathered shinobi looked at Sosuke like he'd just grown two heads.

"Crops!?"

He shrugged.

"Do you have any idea of the physical impossibility of growing food in the desert? Over the years, the Wind Country daimyos intentionally let a lot of their fields go fallow, to turn them into desert. It's their own version of the Shield Wall, only this Wall has maybe one oasis every hundred square miles, and will bleach your bones to ivory in seconds if the vultures don't get to them first. Having to import so much food keeps people dependent on the daimyos for survival; only they have the resources to do so. It's certainly cheaper than building prisons for dissenters."

Yuki muttered a curse under her breath.

"All right, food for drugs and bad tech. Let's assume that's their reason, even if it's completely unrealistic. How have they been operating?"

"It's pretty simple. They find back alleys, taverns, basements. Even a couple of brothels and abandoned warehouses. Anywhere they can meet in secrecy. And the longer this has been going on, the more brazen they're getting. More stuff to sell, locations farther and farther away from the wall. Makes it easier to find their meetings, but each time, it's like they know we're coming. They're half out the door by the time we even arrive."

"Could it be an inside job by your men?"

"It seemed possible, but we've only got five deputies. I asked Stone-nins passing through to watch them where possible. None of them have gone anywhere near a smuggler. If I didn't know any better, I'd say these slimeballs are getting scouting and advance intel from shinobi of their own. They don't do any fighting for them, but letting them escape is problem enough."

"Well," Juzo sighed, "Safe to say the Sand's involved in this. Trap or not ain't clear, but their fingers are all over it. Sure explains why they're acting so tough when they ain't got any power of their own to speak of. How we gonna move?"

"First," Sosuke muttered, "you're going to have to leave town."

Juzo did a double take.

"Say what? We fight by retreating?"

Yuki waved off her student's indignant question.

"I know what the Chief's getting at. If Sand-nins are supplying the smugglers with intel, they have to have noticed us coming into the city. If my Jounin robes didn't do it, our forehead protectors would have. They see us here, either there's going to be a fight, or they back off until we get frustrated and leave for real."

Naruto looked at the map of Sagami City on Sosuke's office wall.

"So let's say we wait outside the city, in the forests closest to the wall. When the Chief and his people find another black market sale going on they'll flush the smugglers out. If nobody here's ever fought their hired help, that means the Sand shinobi must be leaving the Wind Country ahead of the smugglers. If we're along their escape route, we could confirm they're working together."

"That's a lot of wall to cover," Kaori said, tapping the map. "We'd have to split up to get it all. What happens if they notice us?"

Yuki waved a hand in dismissal of their unknown foes.

"As soon as you can see who and what they are, back off. Once we know how they operate, we can shut the whole operation down. If we fight, they'll just change how they move. And if it really comes down to a fight, call the rest of the team in, and we'll fight them on this side of the border. Nothing like a direct solution to your problems."

Naruto winced, thinking of the likelihood of another twist of fate aimed right at him.

"How did I know she was going to say that?"

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Juzo's calling the wrong person yellow. You haven't looked this nervous since the day Grandfather explained what an engagement really was."

Naruto turned from his perch atop a pine tree, to see Kaori landing on a nearby bough. The girl always had been blunt.

"Just thinking. I never ran from a fight in my life and you know it."

"You, thinking? That's never a good sign."

It was when her betrothed didn't respond that Kaori knew more than just thinking was going on in Naruto's head.

_He's brooding. He never broods. Naruto's killed assassins before, faced off with a thing that would make grown men crack. Nothing's ever spooked him._

"Want to talk about it?"

His response wasn't too helpful.

"He's out there. I don't know how I know, but I know."

"If you're out to piss me off from frustration, you're doing a great job. Mind clearing things up?"

"That Sand kid. The one with the demon, like Aunt Yuki said. He's in on this. I can feel it."

"So what?" Kaori shrugged. "You can take him. It's not like his demon's any more powerful than yours."

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is?"

"Who gives a crap if his demon is more powerful than mine? I've never consciously used the Ninetails' power, and I don't want to. What I'm worried about is if this kid is crazy enough or trained to use _his_ demon's power."

His fiancée's expression didn't change.

"Then he's as insane as anyone who willingly lives in the middle of the desert. Don't tell me you actually think you and he have anything in common?"

"As long as this thing is inside me, the chance is there."

Naruto flinched as Kaori snapped a soft, intense curse at him.

"Bullshit."

"What now?"

"You heard me. What makes you think you're anything like him? Did you forget what Aunt Yuki said? He's been raised as a weapon. His own father condemned him to his fate. Your parents saved you from the Leaf. You know better than to use your demon. I doubt he does. _You are not him_."

Hearing a sound, the blonde Genin slapped a hand over Kaori's mouth.

"Shut up. We'll talk later."

She forced his hand off, eyes blazing.

"You can't run from this, Naruto."

"I'm not," he murmured. "Our sand-rat pals are coming this way, and unless you want a fight, we better keep quiet."

"This is a good chance to find out if your little nemesis is here."

Naruto sighed.

"I'll take my chances some other time. If he's here and he really does know how to use his demon, fighting him ourselves is suicide. When everyone knows their escape route, we'll all fight him."

Placing one of his hands on the trunk of the pine tree, the Tsuchikage's son performed a series of seals with his free hand.

"Doton: Suishou Shuriken no Jutsu (Earth Element: Crystal Shuriken no Jutsu)."

A glittering ball of energy began to form around Naruto's free hand, pulsing along with his heartbeat, drawing minerals out of the tree. Finishing his seals, Naruto formed a fist around the energy, molding it into the form of a throwing star, which he hurled at another nearby tree, shattering it into crystal dust. Taking his other hand from the tree trunk, he quickly switched into a set of two-handed seals.

"Doton: Suisho Bouenkyo (Earth Element: Crystal Telescope)."

Closing his left eye, the Genin focused his vision on the moonlight filtering off all the crystal motes floating in the air, dispersing chakra outwards to see whatever might be reflected, before the remains of his shuriken fell to earth. After a few moments to get his bearings, Naruto motioned to Kaori to make some notes.

"Looks like four Sand-nins. Jounin and three Genin, if their dress codes are anything like ours. Three male, one female. Male Jounin has a cloth covering half his face, maybe for the mission or to hide scars. Genin kunoichi's blonde, with four pigtails. Other two male Genin are younger; one has a wrapped bundle on his back and the other has a gourd…"

Kaori prodded her betrothed as he trailed off.

"What?"

"It's him."

"Him who?"

"The Sand demon. Not the kid with the wrapped bundle, the one with the gourd."

"You sound pretty sure. How do you figure that's him?"

"I can't put it into words. It's a gut feeling. Took one look at his eyes and it chilled me down to the bone. They're empty. Completely dead, no trace of humanity. That says living weapon to me."

Kaori triggered her headset, patching her into Yuki, Juzo and Sosuke's frequencies.

"Guys, I think we've got our shinobi, heading towards Grid 207. Jounin and three Genin, even odds. Unless you believe what Naruto's saying."

Yuki responded immediately, a faint sound of moving brush in the background betraying her movement.

"What is it?"

"He says one of the Genin in the Sand group is the kid you told us all about, the one whose father put a demon in him."

"With my luck, I wouldn't bet against it. Observe them as long as it's safe, but don't pursue. I want their route traced as closely as possible."

"Don't worry," Naruto gritted out. "I'm not exactly in the mood to take him on. Not yet, anyway."

-------------------------------------------------------

"Okay," Yuki sighed, tracing two red route lines on the map of the border area. "we know they take different routes to escape. The shinobi head west, to where Naruto and Kaori were. Juzo and I caught the smugglers heading east in our direction. Probably to avoid just the scenario we want; keep us from proving this is a Sand-sanctioned operation."

Sosuke shook his head.

"I still don't like that theory. Why send the smugglers on a defined escape route without an escort, when they could give up the plan?"

"Could be they've got suicide protocols, like poison capsules to swallow if captured or cornered. If the shinobi never get involved, nobody finds out there's more to the plan than mere smuggling. That leaves them free to set their trap all over again."

Juzo grunted, his first input in a while.

"If they're separated in the first place, why even bother trying to capture these smugglers?"

"Who said anything about capturing them?"

"Now you've lost me."

"If we're chasing them, right on their heels, but there's open space in front of us, even a man with a suicide order would run rather than die. As long as we keep them busy dodging attacks and stay far enough away, they'll keep on running. All we have to do is direct them to where the Sand shinobi cross the border. If they cross, the Sand-nins will have to deal with them. If they don't, I'm for slaughtering them as an object lesson to the Sand."

Naruto snorted.

"They're just pawns. You think the Sand Village would care if we kill them?"

"I sincerely hope so."

The Tsuchikage's son shook his head, checking his weapons pouches.

"I don't know what to be more scared of, that Sand demon kid or my aunt developing a taste for blood."

"You'll get your answer by the time this night is over," Yuki snarled, slamming a kunai into the map grid where the Sand shinobi had been. "Let's go teach these bastards what side of the border they belong on."

-------------------------------------------------------

"GET BACK HERE, YOU PIMPLES ON THE ASS OF HUMANITY! I'LL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF AND FEED THEM TO THE DOGS!"

Naruto winced as Yuki's scream tore into his ears over the headset, looking over at Kaori as he did so.

"Are we completely sure she's only going to _chase_ them?"

"Do you think you could stop her if she tried otherwise?"

"Probably not."

Crashes, grunts and muffled curses echoed through the woods, coming closer to Naruto, Kaori and Juzo's hiding place. After a few seconds Yuki could be heard screaming again.

"Doton: Honpou Saiganki (Earth Element: Rampant Rock Crusher)!"

Five men in ratty clothing crashed through the brush near the three Genin, running full tilt for the border. Yuki came barreling out after them seconds later, slamming her hands against the earth. In response, two boulders erupted up from the points of impact. Rising swiftly, the Jounin slapped one hand each against the boulders, which exploded outwards toward the fleeing smugglers. Or, they would have, had the explosion been aimed a few inches higher. As it was the impact of the smaller stones kicked up plenty of dirt and dust, both on the smugglers and on the Genin lying in wait.

"I'd call this friendly fire," Juzo mumbled, shielding his face with one arm, "but that'd be mistaking Yuki-sensei fornice."

Kaori murmured her own response through the collar of her shirt.

"Just feel lucky she's aiming low. Serizawa Goemon got the full impact and you saw what it did to him."

"Serizawa Goemon's a moron who must have lucked into Chuunin rank. Who else would be dumb enough to stand Yuki up on a date?"

Naruto held up a finger gingerly, in case more rocks were coming his way.

"One man's stupidity is another's self-preservation.Sides, he was so pissed we egged his house he forgot to put on the standard anti-Yuki protective cup before coming out. That's his problem. Our problem just ran past us. Move!"

Juzo raised himself up from a prone position, slipping a kunai out of his pouch.

"Five seconds and she's already out of eyesight. How come she never moves this fast at home?"

"When was the last time someone in the Stone Village gave anyone else a shot at consequence-free violence?"

"What about when that pop star Tomoyuki came to town?"

"I said consequence-free. No idol can withstand a fangirl stampede. Not in one piece, anyhow."

Readying his weapons, Naruto took some time to let his thoughts vanish, simple banter occupying his mind. Better that than walking around on eggshells, waiting for a catastrophe or worse wearing a Sand forehead protector. The same went for movement. Putting one foot in front of the other was simple enough to lose yourself in. Before long he stood atop another pine tree, looking down across the border, where forest began to thin out and become scrub, then desert. Yuki perched on her own tree, teeth gritted and weapons bared. Below them stood the smugglers, frozen like prey under the gaze of the four Sand shinobi.

The Stone Jounin spoke first, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"My, what perfect timing. Seems your citizen's ain't content just screwing up their country. Now they're bringing loads of crap over into ours. Much obliged if you'd handle their punishment. I'd hate to ruin a perfectly good two-day old manicure."

The other Jounin's face was half-hidden, but Naruto and company couldn't have missed the rush of crimson that came over it at Yuki's insolent greeting. When he spoke, it was with clenched teeth.

"You have our gratitude for cornering this scum. They will be dealt with."

Yamazaki Yuki wasn't buying his forced pleasantries.

"Good. You can repay the favor by dispensing your justice on the spot. My team's familiar enough with what you people call the law. They won't be _too_ shocked."

The other shinobi kept his composure – barely.

"Surely you do not mind if I take them a bit further into our territory? I doubt the Earth Country would appreciate blood being spilled into it."

"Suit yourself," Yuki spat. "As long as they're dealt with. Now."

As the Sand shinobi marched their prisoners toward the desert, Kaori whispered a question.

"Sensei, is it wise to let the Sand-nins take the smugglers out of earshot?"

"Doesn't matter." The black-haired woman sighed. "They know we sniffed out their plan and we didn't fall for it. Sagami City won't be getting any more smugglers for a good while."

"Should we go?"

"No. I promised Constable Murayama I'd see the smugglers pay for their crimes. I'll stay, but you're all free to go pack for home. Good job, everyone. Not bad for your first real mission."

Naruto's voice, curiously muted, stopped them all in their tracks.

"I'm staying too."

Kaori snapped another curse at him.

"What are you, suicidal?"

"No. I'm tired of running scared from something that hasn't even shown itself yet."

His fiancée sighed dramatically, leaping back up into the tree beside him.

"Your funeral."

Yamazaki Naruto's eyes burned in cold fury, the Sand demon squarely in his sights.

"Not now. Not ever."

------------------------------------------------------------------

"We did everything we were ordered to, Master Baki!"

Baki of the Sands cuffed the smuggler leader with a vicious backhand. _Never send a mere human to do a shinobi's job._ A sterling opportunity to crush the pacifist Stone Village, wasted because of the most primal, illogical human emotion – fear.

"Everything? FOOL! WERE YOU NOT TOLD TO KEEP THE EARTH COUNTRY FROM DISCOVERING OUR INVOLVEMENT?"

"We thought we could escape! That other Jounin never got within two hundred feet of us!"

Ignoring the stench of nervous sweat – and possibly some urine – Baki grabbed the whining fool's shirt and yanked him upwards, lowering his face to the lackey's.

"She could have killed you six different ways from a thousand feet. She is a Jounin of a Hidden Village! If you thought you could escape, it was because she was _letting_ you escape! And being the halfwits you are, it worked to perfection. Now all that is left of the Kazekage's perfectly-plotted operation is a ragged group of bunglers waiting to be judged for their crimes."

Dropping the leader on the sands to gape at them in horror, Baki turned to leave.

"Gaara. Finish them."

Ten seconds later, a quarter mile away, Yamazaki Naruto watched what little belief he had in basic human goodness flee in gibbering panic, feeling Kaori's hand tighten on his shoulder - whether in fright or sympathy, he couldn't tell.

Juzo, white as the bleached sands, threw up the remains of his dinner.

Yuki folded her arms and spat, contempt in her eyes.

"Living weapon is too good a name for it."

And then the Sand-nins were gone, the only evidence of their presence a slowly spreading crimson sea, soaking into the dunes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaori came out of the Sagami Inn some time later, to see Naruto up in a tree again, idly staring at the moon. Walking to the base of the tree, she sniffed.

"What happened to the Naruto from a few hours ago who was so confident?"

"Still there," he murmured. "Just wondering what he got himself into."

"That's wuss-ese, not confidence I hear."

"You call it wussy. I call it being rational. It's one thing to be confident about the unknown. It's another to rush blindly into the embrace of a demon."

"What are you talking about?"

Naruto leaped down from the tree, landing softly on the balls of his feet.

"That kid isn't going to stay inside the Wind Country forever. Someday, when they think they've got him trained and under control, they'll let him out. And when that happens, people are going to die. A lot of them. I catch enough flak for having a demon in me. I'm not gonna be tarred with that brush again because some maniac can't control his demon."

"You're not an anime superhero. You can't go protecting everybody from him."

"I'll settle for protecting our family and our village. But to do it means I'll have to harness _my_ demon. So forgive me if I don't just jump up and yell 'take me now, furry nutcase!'"

"You know that means the Leaf is going to find you. Is that something you want?"

Yamazaki Naruto's eyes turned a frigid, icy sapphire in the moonlight.

"People have been trying to kill me for years and failing. I don't owe any of them the gift of mercy."

Kaori looked at her betrothed with a resigned gaze.

"Now who's tarring who with a broad brush?"

"When someone from the Leaf shows me why I should care about them," Naruto snapped. "I'll care. Until then the only thing they'll get from me is a boot in the ass."

--------------------------------------------------------------

A stiff breeze sent a chill down the Third Hokage's spine, setting the leaves in the nearby trees to rustling. The old shinobi looked up at his face, carved into the mountain above, and felt as old as the rocky visage looked.

_There was a time I stood in the face of great evils and never wavered, all the confidence and power in the world to sustain me. But that was too many years and too many hard choices ago_.

Next to his face on the mountain was another, youthful features frozen forever in stone.

"Sometimes, Arashi. Sometimes I wonder whether it's you or me that's better off when everything's added up."

The Third ratrly wasted time on regret. There was little enough left to waste already, too many duties and people and missions still to assign. But ever since he'd taken office again, he found himself here, standing in front of the monument to the dead, all the names of the fallen, at the end of each day.

To be honest, his being there was ludicrous. For that singular name, the life he regretted losing most, had never been carved upon the surface of the onyx stone. _Uzumaki__ Naruto_.

One life, affecting so many. Hatake Kakashi, so broken returning to find only a bloody patch of ground he'd veiled his face permanently, cloaking shame with hollow humor. The Third, raising a grandson while another's had been abandoned to die. Then there was the woman who knelt at two graves ahead of him, who had been all but silent every day for ten years.

She had been everything Leaf kunoichi aspired to become. Wife of the Fourth, Kazama Arashi, pregnant with his heir, and a focused, promising Anbu commander, wielding the trademark naginata every Kazama's bride was entrusted with.

In the space of a single night, that life had vanished. Suzuno had awakened from her hospital bed to find her husband dead and her newborn son missing. By then, the village had realized what their hysteria had wrought. The Third had kept the peace, minimized their role, invented a story about the hospital being attacked. He needn't have bothered; any excuse would have worked as well on a mind numbed with grief.

The crowning insult had been left to Suzuno's own clan to deliver. Lacking an heir, desperately trying to retain the Uzumaki clan's prestige, her own grandparents had delivered her, still silent, into the waiting arms of Yamanaka Inoshi. That his childhood crush, sustained into manhood, was one-sided mattered not a whit. That Suzuno would not and still had not spoken a word to him in ten years too went by the wayside. Life went on. Missions and clients were what mattered.

Yamanaki Inoshi and the late, unlamented Uzumaki elders had their mutual heir now, a girl child with hair as blonde and radiant as her mother and half-brother. It remained to be seen if Suzuno had gained anything of her own. Ino seemed well adjusted, for a child of an Ino-Shika-Cho trio member. A small victory, but a victory it was.

He quested for such little moments of joy the closer each day's silent tableau came. Always the same; he at the monument, she at her graves, and never a word of hope to change it, the revelation of Naruto's unknown fate dying before it crossed his lips. To tell her would just be another betrayal, an admission her rights had been tossed aside to keep the peace.

Besides, what incentive could he possibly have to tell Suzuno anything with that naginata strapped to her back? There was certainly no way to take it from the willowy blonde. Some said, and he believed, her first husband's final gift was all that kept her sane. That they could say this of a woman with a living child bowed the Third's shoulders in silent self-reproach.

At the very least she seemed to draw strength from the weapon, practicing the forms of the Kazama-ryu each day after visiting Arashi and Naruto's graves. Perhaps the familiar katas took her back to a happier time. Then again, it might only have been a way to silently take her revenge on those who'd wronged her, both the dead and the living. The old man had never dared ask, fearing the answer.

Answers. So many answers he didn't have. So many he desperately wished to discover. Never mind that the final answer to Naruto's fate could be the one he dreaded most, the simple finality of a buried corpse. It would still be putting the child to rest. And if the boy were, by some twist of fate, still alive, so much the better, no matter where he was. But ten years had passed, and the old shinobi was still no closer to knowing.

Turning to leave, the Third Hokage murmured an unheard farewell to Suzuno. He would see her again on the morrow. Until their mutual question was answered, he would accompany her on her quiet journey, paying his penance for a silent woman's sorrow.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Guilt piled on top of more guilt. Not something we see every day from the Third. I figured he can't be Wise Old Sage or Lecherous Old Fart all the time.

Buried somewhere in my LiveJournal is the model which Suzuno is based on, spear and all. For the lazy, it's Yuki from Gekka no Kenshi (Last Blade).

And yes, Dear Reader, you (and Naruto) _will_ see Gaara again, somewhere down the line. When that happens, all bets are off.

A note on geography…the Shield Wall is not canon, of course, but how else do you explain the Stone not showing up until 230 chapters into the manga, and even then only in a flashback? _Something_ has to be keeping them out of the limelight. Why not a giant mountain range? Readers of Seven Against The World, my LJ story, will see the Wall again later in that story. If you haven't read it yet, what are you waiting for?

I've learned not to do chapter previews anymore, if only for the simple fact that it restricts me in what I put in the chapter. Like Naruto, I find it hard to go against what I've promised. Instead, I'll tell you what you _won't_ see in upcoming chapters: a lot of the rest of Team 7. New universe, new focuses. Kakashi will have some face time, but Sasuke and Sakura will have very little. As for who takes their places, some of you who've IM'ed me already know. The rest of you can ask, or wait to find out. You may be pleasantly surprised. Or not. Who knows?


	5. Water Under The Bridge

**Naruto: Set in Stone**

by The SOC Puppet

**Chapter 5 – Water Under The Bridge**

Summary: Naruto, Kaori, Juzo and Yuki traveled to the Stone's border with the Sand, successfully destroying a smuggling ring operating on the border, but got warning that the Sand might be involved in the whole scheme – and that the Sand, too, possessed a shinobi with a demon sealed inside himself: Gaara.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in this story, except for originals that may pop up along the way. All jutsus are also not my property, other than the ones I think up.

" " – Speech

_Italics_ – Thoughts

"You've done it, Tsuchikage-sama! The threat of the Sand is finished and their demon re-sealed."

Standing atop a cliff over a smoldering crater, Naruto waved a hand in dismissal.

"Nah. Only way to end a threat is to wipe it out. That ain't what we do, and these guys don't deserve that. And demons, well…you can at least hope the thing stays sealed for a while. Humans don't have much self-control around absolute power."

"Does that mean I should be afraid of you, husband?"

He turned to see Kaori stride up, Jounin robes trailing behind her, a bit worse for wear after combat. The Tsuchikage smiled rakishly at his wife.

"Only if you want to be."

The red-haired kunoichi snorted, blunt as ever.

"That happens too much as it is."

"You know you love it."

She reached a hand up towards his face.

"Mom always said I had no self-control…"

And then she pinched his nose.

"Huh?"

His dream now over, Yamazaki Naruto, Genin of the Hidden Stone, awoke to the sight of a large crab pinching his nose in one claw.

-

"AZUSA-NEESAMA! You are _so_ dead!"

Yamazaki Mizuki didn't even turn around from where she was scrambling eggs for breakfast. A blonde teenage girl came running by the kitchen door in something of a hurry, carrying a crab as she stuck her head in briefly.

"Mama, I wasn't here."

Then she was off again, pursued by a voice still about half a floor above.

"KATON-"

The Tsuchikage's wife sighed.

"Yamazaki Naruto! No jutsu in the house!"

Azusa's voice returned.

"Nyah! Big bad ninja! No jutsu for you! Try this…"

"Yamazaki Azusa! No kunai or flying animals in the house!"

The Yamazakis' youngest daughter, no longer carrying the crab, walked back into the kitchen and flopped down in the chair with a pout.

"Well, what's the point if you can't even use that?"

Mizuki gave her daughter an exasperated look.

"I asked you to wake your brother up for breakfast, not take him to the zoo."

"Yeah!" Naruto snapped, walking into the kitchen with hair mussed all to one side. "What Mom said!"

"You didn't say _how_ to wake him up. He never hears the alarm clock anyway."

"I do too! Is it my fault Aoi-neesama always sneaks in and changes it to later?"

Mizuki put her spatula down and turned to face her children.

"Naruto, what have I told you about stupid excuses?"

The Genin crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Who said it's an excuse? I caught her just last Tuesday! She says it's important, she needs all the beauty sleep she can get or else her skin looks all blotchy and fancy-pants Doctor Akagi will think she's ugly!"

"Honestly. She doesn't even sleep on the same floor as you do."

Azusa sniggered, brushing her bangs back from her eyes.

"Oh, you didn't know, Mama? Our Lady Aoi is _ever_ so sensitive. If I let off a _fart_ it's like Doomsday has arrived. Gods forbid stick-up-the-ass Doctor Akagi should think she comes from a family full of heathens and savages."

All four of the Tsuchikage's children, true to Daimaru's distaste for the ordinary, marched to their own beat. Yoriko was the fighter, devoted to the craft of the kunoichi. Aoi, the older of fraternal twins, had been nearly completely feminine, to even her mother's dismay sometimes, and pursued a medical career. Azusa, the younger twin, as if to show she wasn't a copy of her sister, had gone tomboy and worked as an animal trainer when she wasn't on lower-intensity shinobi duties. And Naruto was, well, Naruto.

Mizuki wondered about the effects of raising children in such a martial climate. The Stone was not nearly as warlike as other Hidden Villages, but there were still shinobi, and people still grew up faster.

"I'm sure it's just a phase. Pretty soon she'll have gone back to studying medical journals and telling us tales of her latest dissection."

Azusa shrugged, snagging a piece of toast off the table.

"All I know is, the age of consent in the Earth Country's fifteen, and Aoi buys more bridal magazines than those old maids at the club trying to catch any man with too much booze in them."

Mizuki shook her head and went back to making breakfast.

"The law's age of consent may be fifteen, but your father's is more like thirty."

Her daughter rolled her eyes.

"If you ever need to find me, I'll be with the old maids."

"Theatrics won't get you anywhere, child. Naruto, finish up quick. Yuki told me your team has another mission to be assigned today."

"Great," her son groaned. "More work at the compost pile."

-

Breakfast plowed through, Naruto stepped out of the house, tying on his forehead protector. The Tsuchikage's son surveyed his backyard, strolling toward the exit and Stone Village headquarters.

The Yamazaki compound, though larger than every other in the village, looked much like any other large house – with one major exception. In the middle of the backyard, where any other house might have a pond with koi or other colorful fish for decorations, Daimaru had installed a miniature pond and river containing, of all things, freshwater crabs.

It had sealed his reputation as one of the strangest shinobi in the village, but the Stone's leader had been pulling out all of the stops he could when he'd first married his wife, to keep her from becoming too homesick and missing the ocean. It was either that or dig a channel to the sea with his bare hands, which Kantaro stopped by ordering his son to just buy a damned aquarium or something and be done with it. Mizuki had appreciated it anyway; Yoriko was living proof.

Naruto understood the sentiment, but he honestly hoped Kaori didn't want anything quite _that_ lavish when they got married. Not that he _wouldn't _do it, but honestly, how was he supposed to top his father's gesture?

Village people said Yamazaki Naruto had it tough. Sometimes it wasn't for the reasons they might have thought.

"So what fun-filled job have you stuck them with _this_ time, brother dear?"

Yuki lounged in her chair as Daimaru shuffled some papers around on his desk, waiting for his son's team to arrive. The Fifth shrugged and pointed to a nearby chair, where Kantaro sat paging through a back issue of _Shinobi of Fortune_ magazine.

"Ask Dad. It was his idea."

"I'm sorry, my memory must be fried. I thought you were supposed to be the one in charge here."

"Hey," Daimaru said placidly. "it sounded creative. Beats hearing you bitch at me for assigning your team to – what was it again? Oh, right, 'shit duty.'"

"Well, what else would you call raking and sorting the village compost pile?"

The Fourth snorted.

"I'd call it something you got paid for. If you like, I can find you a real job and assign Shira to look over Naruto and Kaori."

The Stone Jounin muttered something and was silent for a very brief moment.

"Well, do I get to know what this creative mission is?"

"Don't worry, you'll enjoy it. Standard C-Rank diplomatic mission."

"That's creative?" she wondered aloud.

"It is if you're going to be envoys to the Hidden Waterfall Village."

Yamazaki Yuki sat bolt upright, head snapping around to look at her father.

"Daddy, are you completely _INSANE_? You want me to take your grandson and Juzo into the middle of Shota-con City?"

"They're not that bad," the older shinobi snorted. "Honestly, one tabloid publishes a stupid story and everyone piles on."

Yuki sighed.

"Not that bad? Have you two forgotten what happened to Tomoyuki?"

"Name sounds familiar. That pretty boy singer the girls are swooning over?"

"_Were_ swooning over. His manager got greedy and booked him a gig there. He hasn't been seen since. That was six months ago."

Daimaru handed her the mission briefing sheet.

"Dad might not have taken it into account, but I did. This is the last test for Naruto."

"Test of what? He's done everything you've asked of him, including all that ridiculous waterfall meditation."

The Tsuchikage gave her a flat look.

"Yuki, where is the Chuunin Exam being held this rotation?"

It took his sister a few seconds to dredge up the information, but when she did, understanding set in.

"You don't want to risk sending him to the Leaf."

"No, that's Mizuki. But if he can't go, that's two years' worth of time he'll be cooling his heels here, doing routine stuff. She agreed to let me test Naruto before she'd even consider letting him out of her sight. The Genin Exam was the first test, and he'd have had to take that anyway. Running into Gaara of the Sand was the second test. The Hidden Waterfall is last. It's right on the border with the Fire Country. If their hunter-nin or just shinobi in general are looking for him, we'll know immediately. Naruto draws too much attention in this area not to be recognized."

"What if they do come after him?"

The Fifth fingered a stray kunai on his desk, eyes hardening.

"I'm going to toss a carrier pigeon in with your equipment, one of the elites with flare-launch training. If you get attacked, dig yourself in and ask the Hidden Waterfall for help; we've got an alliance agreement with them and the Leaf doesn't. Then release the bird. There'll be at least two teams on missions nearby that have standing orders to drop everything and head to the Hidden Waterfall if they see the flare go off."

"Waste of time," Yuki muttered. "Think I can't handle a bunch of pussy hunter-nins or a rogue? Or Naruto and the other kids, for that matter? Naruto beat off at least a dozen of them before he turned nine."

"He might have kept them off him, but he certainly didn't kill them, other than that poor sap who tried to attack Mizuki and Kaori."

Their father's voice interrupted.

"They'll be fine, Daimaru. You forgot to tell them I'll be traveling with them on the way there, at least."

Both of the Fourth's children turned to stare at him. Daimaru sighed.

"When were you planning to tell me?"

"I'm retired, boy. When did I suddenly need to ask permission to take a vacation?"

_A vacation? Him?_

The Fifth looked at his father with a jaundiced eye. The man hadn't taken a moment off for more than twenty years, and now he decided to do it as his grandson's biggest challenge loomed? True, he didn't need anybody's permission to go, but for a shinobi supposedly very strong on common sense, the retired Kage was acting pretty flighty.

"Suit yourself," he muttered. "Just don't go causing any international incidents."

"Now where's the fun in that?"

-

Kaori had plenty of problems with people joking about the color of her hair. From assuming she had a temper like her younger sister's to asking her if she'd dyed her locks, she got all the standard redhead treatment. Right now, though, the Genin was doing a good job of making her face the same color as her hair.

"Uncle Daimaru, are you _trying_ to get him killed? Sending Naruto into the middle of all those old hags trying to paw him all over and 'teach' him things?"

His misgivings already aired, the Fifth had a bit more twinkle in his eye now that the children had entered the room for a briefing.

"That's what you're here for, isn't it? Just tell them he's taken."

"OOHH! That's IT! You can look out for yourself!"

Kaori wheeled around and stomped out, leaving Naruto staring after her and Juzo grinning.

"Just think, buddy. Five more years and that's all yours officially."

"Lucky me," Naruto deadpanned. "Thanks a lot, Dad."

"My advice, son? Wear weights on the trip there."

"What the heck for?"

The Fifth tapped a finger on the side of his nose.

"You're going to be doing a lot of running. Best to train up those legs, eh?"

-

What was the saying about family? They were the ties that bound (and gagged). His father probably had a reason for sending him somewhere that nutty, just like he'd had a reason to tell him to train his focus against the Ninetails by meditating under a waterfall three times a week. All Naruto knew was that he usually wound up better off for all the weirdness. Usually.

Better just to let things work out as they would. On with the mission.

"So what're we supposed to do on a diplomatic mission? The Hidden Waterfall ain't even got a Kage."

"No," Yuki allowed, "but they do have a ruling council. All women. I do hear they're always on the lookout for a bigger presence of men on the council, but you guys have heard enough about the place to know why that'd be tough."

Juzo sniggered.

"Yeah. They'd have him stripped and drained before the first meeting ever started."

"If he were lucky, anyway. Now, just like the Rain and Grass, the Hidden Waterfall's a big part of our buffer zone against the Sand and Leaf. It's in our best interests to keep them friendly. Every few years, then, we've tended to exchange gifts, information, and sometimes even loaning out shinobi – all female, in our case. Apparently this year's gift is scrolls."

Kantaro grunted at the mention of the gift.

"They ought to be honored to get that much. The last time we got a gift from them, they sent us fruitcakes."

"But I thought we found a use for those."

"If I'd wanted a paperweight that badly," the Fourth snorted, "I could have grabbed a rock out of the river."

Naruto tuned the last part of the conversation out and concentrated on the redheaded girl still ignoring him, both of them well behind Yuki, Juzo and Kantaro. Why she was angry at _him_ when his father had sent them on the mission mystified him, but didn't make things any clearer.

"You wanna tell me why you suddenly turned into Kira today?"

She rounded on him, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Don't act like you don't know!"

"I don't, and it's not an act. Do I look like a mind reader?"

Kaori sighed sharply and turned back to looking at the road.

"Forget it. It's not like you'd understand."

He seized her arm, turning her around to look at him, expression placid.

"Try me."

She tore away from him, resentment evident in her tone.

"Your dad acts like I'm supposed to be your wife already, and that's simple compared to what Grandpa expects out of me!"

The kunoichi's face turned bright red when she saw Naruto shrug.

"They're adults. They do that. Who said ya gotta take it seriously?"

"Who said I don't want to take it seriously?" she said. "I…I just didn't want to do it _now_. I wanted to be normal, at least until we get married."

"We know three dozen ways to kill a guy older, bigger and stronger than us quietly, and about three dozen more ways to do it messily. Ya call that normal?"

"You know what I meant!"

"Yeah. So what? No matter how much they wanna push us, the age of consent's fifteen. They can't make us do nothin' until then, and even then we're the ones who gotta sign off on the marriage certificate to make it legal. We got the power. As long as we keep that in our heads, we can do whatever we want.

"Besides," he muttered in irritation, "if ya really don't wanna do it I can always ask Aunt Mana to switch Kana for you. She thinks Kana's a better choice anyway."

It was an old trick, but guaranteed to work on either of the two youngest Ishida sisters. Given the tempers Kaori and Kira had inherited from their ancestors, the older, more peaceful Kana regularly got the most compliments out of all three girls. Kaori, if it was humanly possible, got even redder in the face.

"She…did…_not!_"

"Hey, I tried to argue for ya, but your mom's always like that. I had to beg and plead to get her off my case."

"Oh, _really?_"

That calculating look in her eyes, underneath the fury, told him he'd exaggerated once too much for his own good. Fortunately, Naruto was experienced at dealing with angry girls – he had three to survive at home already.

"Aw, come on. You know you're the only girl for me. Everybody else in the village only looks at me and sees the Kage's Son. You know me, and you know…the furry thing, and last I checked you ain't scared of neither. You think I wanna screw that up?"

It was the truth. Sappy as hell, something he never would have admitted under torture, but true. And given the choice between truth and self-preservation, he could live with feeling less macho. _For now_.

"No. But it shouldn't have to be like this, not for us or for anybody."

"Shouldn't be, but it is. Living and working around something's better than sitting there and wishing you had a magic wand to wave and make it all go away. The proof of that is big, red, furry and has nine tails."

She sniffed, but there was no malice in her eyes (for which he was profoundly grateful). It was now safe to talk again.

"One day, that's going to stop working on me."

"One day," Yamazaki Naruto muttered, "I won't need to use it anymore."

-

"Daughter, please don't tell me you actually waste your time with that junk."

Yuki looked up from her copy of the latest _Stone Snitch_ magazine to see her father giving her reading material the stink-eye. The Jounin went back to reading, as nonchalantly as possible.

"It's for a good purpose, Daddy, really. I'm catching up on Tomoyuki's case."

"Didn't you say he hadn't been seen in six months?"

"Yes, but the _Snitch_ has narrowed down the list of suspects who might be holding him. This month they're down to five. I plan to check some of them out."

Kantaro let loose a very un-Kage-like groan and planted his face in his hands. Daimaru's information lockdown in the Earth Country had made tabloids much more rampant and uncontrollable. There was nothing quite like exaggerating information when very little new info ever got into or out of the country. Yuki somehow managed to look offended by his reaction.

"Get off my back, Daddy! The protection of hunkiness is important business!"

"So is the protection of your nephew, last I checked."

"Honestly. Kaori would crush one of these old hags into the size of a marble if they even tried to fondle Naruto."

"Yes," the retired Kage growled, "completely destroying the purpose of a _DIPLOMATIC MISSION!_"

"Some things just weren't meant to be," Yuki said.

"Suddenly the idea of a vacation isn't sounding so good."

"Oh, honestly, Daddy. Leave off. Even if I did find Tomoyuki, who's to say he'd want to be rescued? I hear Waterfall girls are very persuasive. Still want to miss out on the fun?"

Kantaro grunted a curse, shouldering his bag and preparing to turn down a fork in the road.

"They only like 'em young, daughter. So keep your eyes on your team. I've got enough headaches to deal with already before spending any time with these harridans. One slip-up, Yuki. That's all you've got keeping Shira from taking your job. I suggest you keep that in mind before you start thinking about that musician of yours."

Then the old shinobi was gone, leaving Yuki to fume at her father's failure to understand the power of the Pop Idol.

Juzo contented himself with snickering under his breath.

-

"Hey, Aunt Yuki, I almost forgot to ask. What's the schtick of the Waterfall, anyway? I mean, besides havin' no Kage and kidnapping singers, anyway."

The Jounin, still muttering curses at her father, took a while to not answer Naruto's question.

"What schtick?"

"The thing that makes 'em unique. Like we have the one with Nature thing, the Sand's in the middle of the desert, the Leaf has those gigantic stone heads, the Mist has the Seven Blades."

"Oh, that." The older kunoichi waved a hand in dismissal. "The way I hear it, the Hidden Waterfall has a couple of unique features. They're hidden behind a big waterfall – hence the name – and they've got this weird thing called Hero Water. Take a drink of the stuff, and you can temporarily multiply your chakra by ten times or more."

Juzo spit out the mouthful of water he'd just swigged from his canteen.

"A trump card like that and they're still a minor Hidden Village?"

Their sensei laughed.

"It's not much of a trump card if it kills you."

"Say what?"

"Drink it, your chakra gets boosted to superhuman levels, you overtax your body, and you're pushing up daisies a few hours later. Think they call it Hero Water for no reason? Plenty of invaders have found out the reason, all right. Come to think of it, maybe that's why they don't have a Kage. Nobody wants to have to drink that stuff."

"Sure," Juzo snorted. "No point being a hero if ya can't enjoy the rewards."

Naruto rolled his eyes at that.

"Boy, are you the self-sacrificing type."

"If I die, nobody brings my brother back. Ya told me enough yourself, back at the exam, and I told ya what I'm out to do. Until that happens, that's just how it is."

"Suit yourself. But one of these days, you may not get a choice. Try not to have any second thoughts then, will ya?"

"Second thoughts? Come on, you know me."

Naruto shook his head slowly.

"Why do you think I asked?"

Kaori sniffed.

"Just let him play the martyr. He does it enough as it is. There's a bigger question. If this stuff is in the water, what does the Waterfall drink? Are we just supposed to go dry until this mission is over?"

"Quit the hysterics." Yuki snorted. "Hero Water's only made through a special process in a certain area of the village. It's all natural, completely secret and only a few of their elders have ever known how it happens. The Waterfall couldn't have stayed a hidden village if they had to keep importing water from all parts. Too much dependency on others."

Naruto ticked off a few points on his fingers.

"So they can't be attacked easily, but they don't have enough power to do any expansion, unless they have somebody – maybe more than one - willing to die in order to accomplish it."

"A good ally to guard your flanks, but that's about all we can ask for."

"Speaking of guarding something…"

"Oh, I know that tone. What's running through your head?"

"Some villages wouldn't think twice about forcing their guys to drink Hero Water in a fight. Haven't they tried to steal it or the method for making it?"

"Our alliance works both ways. The Waterfall may not have many men, but they've got some tough kunoichi. If an invasion gets too hot to handle, they can call us or the Hidden Rain in. There's never been a recorded instance of somebody getting away with Hero Water or its secret. Most people are sane enough not to try."

Naruto muttered a curse, remembering plenty of people in his past.

"The sane ones aren't what I'm worried about. Who knows what kind of idiot lurks around here trying to figure out how to get himself some Hero Water?"

-

A lanky form approached the Hidden Waterfall's entrance, cloaked in merchant's garb and toting a ludicrously large bag. Popping open an umbrella, the visitor strolled through the waterfall, finding the entrance to the hollowed-out caldera that held the Hidden Waterfall Village.

"Halt for inspection! Let me see some papers there."

The cloaked visitor extended a sheaf of ID documents and began an (obviously) rehearsed spiel.

"Papers are hardly necessary! You see before you the great, the incomparable Kaimaru, greatest merchant in the world. I bring a veritable cornucopia of items of all kinds and origins, guaranteed to stimulate the mind and enflame the senses! I ask only a minute of your time, and I will show you the world - for a small fee, of course."

The guards, being typical examples of their breed, ignored Kaimaru in favor of searching his bag.

"What's this 'Lil' Thinker Chemistry Set' supposed to be for?"

"One of my best-sellers! What child would not find delight in exploring the splendid natural forces of the world and expending their youthful power through increased mental acuity? Only fifty ryo!"

"For fifty ryo," one guard snorted, "the kid oughta be able to make the ultimate soldier pill with this thing."

Undaunted, the merchant continued his sales pitch.

"Is not knowledge and enjoyment worth more than mere physical strength?"

The senior guard massaged her temples, feeling a headache coming on.

"Wouldn't know about that. I _do _know my hearing is more important than rifling through a bunch of thrift store junk. Move to the merchant's quarter and don't let me see you hassling respectable people with that crap."

Shouldering his bag again, the merchant moved past the guard post without protest. Why would he, when he wasn't there to sell anything to begin with? Showing tremendous control of his instincts, he suppressed a loud series of bellowing guffaws.

_Maito Gai, you'll surely win the next acting challenge with Kakashi!  
_

_-_

Yamazaki Naruto had faced assassins, wild animals, a grandfather with somewhat sadistic training methods, and a boy with a demon sealed inside him. It wasn't nearly enough to prepare him for the Hidden Waterfall Village.

"KYAAA! Here, cutie!"

Hearing that once? Not too bad. He got that reaction in the isolated farms outside the Stone Village all the time. Hearing it ten times every city block? Not so fun. Kaori had been scowling so long he was starting to fear her face would freeze that way. Juzo was scowling too, for a completely different reason that went a little something like this.

"Phooey! A Stone team and only one cutie! Where's all the studs they used to send? You just know the elders will be monopolizing him all to themselves! What chance do we have?"

"Just be glad there's one they won't touch and we can snatch. Even if he _is_ too plump to be cute."

Like all Takedas, Juzo was stocky with a tendency towards slightly pudgy. He was used to being ignored and belittled – within reason. After about the twentieth whispered conversation, though, he'd had enough.

"WHAT THE FUCK AM I, CHOPPED LIVER?"

The only reason he hadn't tried to collapse the entire Waterfall in a giant sinkhole was Yuki's threat to break each and every one of his fingers if he so much as made a hand seal. The Genin had contented himself with muttering curses fit for a dockworker under his breath ever since.

As for the Jounin, other than resorting to outlandish threats to keep her charges in line, Yuki had turned her attention to scouting for signs of captured idol singer, visions of falling cherry blossoms above pop sensation and rescuer dancing through her head. Naruto and Kaori spared each other a brief glance of horror before going back to trying to survive the Waterfall. Their sensei continued to have big googly sparkly eyes.

_We're so doomed_.

It was going to be a long walk to the elders' hall.

-

"_Theories of Water Molecule Manipulation_? I must say, this is a fine gift, Yamazaki-dono. I've never known your people to spare the effort to transcribe scrolls on anything but Earth jutsu, which isn't of much use to us if we're being honest."

Yuki never missed an opportunity to get even a subtle dig in.

"A gift should be useful, Elder Omori. Why give one otherwise?"

The chief Elder of the Hidden Waterfall cackled.

"Then shall I give you a jar of Hero Water, child? It'd _definitely_ be useful…"

"I'll pass. This was a gift-_giving_ mission, after all."

Naruto watched as the chief Elder and her compatriots cackled in unison. He relaxed – slightly. Apparently the older kunoichi of the Waterfall were content to look but were beyond the point of touching (at least where someone could see). Yuki had just about crossed them off her list of leads on Tomoyuki.

"Well, then, I thank the Tsuchikage, Yamazaki-dono. If you'd like, please go to the guest room. We're preparing a feast in your honor."

Juzo perked up for the first time in quite a while.

"Damn, finally something I like about this place."

Their collective sigh of relief lasted about three seconds, enough time for a human dynamo to come bounding through to land on the lap of chief Elder Omori.

"Oooo! Grandma, did you get me a gift from the Stone? It's a cutie! Now Tomo-chan will have a playmate!"

Several reactions were recorded to the unknown chibi-kunoichi's statement. Yuki blanched and pulled out her copy of the _Stone Snitch_. Kaori drew several dozen kunai and glared a bunch more at the girl for having the temerity to think of taking Naruto. Naruto groaned and just _knew_ he'd jinxed himself back there by relaxing. Juzo simply went back to muttering curses about shallow women.

Chief Omori looked at her granddaughter in a mixture of indulgence and irritation.

"Azusa-chan, we don't kidnap diplomatic emissaries. Not even the cute ones."

"At least someone here has sense," Kaori sniffed. She was saved from shooting her mouth off further when another Waterfall-nin burst into the room.

"Chief! There's a problem down at the…uh…distillery!"

The old kunoichi stood up so fast her granddaughter landed in a pouting heap on the floor.

"Explain yourself!"

"I would, Chief, but we don't know what's going on! From the looks of things, two different groups of thieves tried to break in, figured out they had competition, and instead of continuing the break-in, started fighting each other. They're tearing up the whole downtown district!"

Chief Omori sighed and turned to Yuki.

"I know it's just a diplomatic mission, but I'd like to ask for your help, Yamazaki-dono. Thieves sent to steal Hero Water are seldom pushovers. And as my granddaughter let slip, some of our forces are currently a bit…distracted."

To her credit, Yuki managed to control her twitching and put the _Stone Snitch _away.

"I'll go, Elder, but my students will only fight if the opposition is deemed suitable. They're Genin, not Anbu."

"Agreed. Let's get going! Summon the rapid response team!"

-

"Kaimaru," still in civilian garb, backhanded another attempted slap from a barrel-chested (and bellied) man, probably a retired _rikishi_. What power could sumo have when he had youth on his side?

"ACHA!"

A fist to the gut over the liver; pain that could stun any human for a moment.

"HA TA TA!"

Knees to the side, over the kidneys. Even more pain.

"KIAI!"

A leaping, spinning kick to the temple. Three hundred or more pounds of bulky, clumsy muscle slumped to the ground in a boneless heap. Cloth tore away to reveal the swirl of ink spreading down the _rikishi_'s shoulders, back and chest. A familiar style of tattoo, to say the least.

_Yakuza!_

He had simply come here to scout the premises – scout it prior to ransacking it for what he wanted to research, but scout it nonetheless. This trash had almost certainly come with thievery on their minds. Thieves of any sort were an unforgivable blight on the face of the earth.

"_HA_! These Yakuza vermin are not nearly the actors I am! For this audacity, they must be punished! YOUTH! BEAUTY! PASSION! POWER! FACE MY WRATH! ACHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Naruto's team, Chief Omori, and the Waterfall reinforcements were treated to the sight of one of the combatants sailing all the way to - and through - the great waterfall.

"_That_," Juzo muttered, "is gonna leave a mark."

Quite possibly the only thing worse than feeding Maito Gai sugar was giving him an audience. Juzo's comment was enough to let Gai in on the secret.

"AHA! The Great Gai – er - Kaimaru abides not thieves, as do all good merchants! Witness now the power of PROFIT!"

One of the Waterfall kunoichi stepped forward, pointing at the disguised Leaf-nin.

"Hey! I thought I told you to stick to the merchants' quarter! What the hell are you doing in downtown with these thieves?"

"Kaimaru" thrust a finger to the heavens, striking a righteous pose.

"NONSENSE! It is the duty of all right-thinking merchants to deal with thieves where they may show themselves!"

"Deal with this, you posturing piece of crap!"

One enterprising yakuza had taken the time to get behind the merchant/spy/shinobi, brandishing a large hammer as he attacked. Easily within Gai's skills to take care of, had he been operating as himself. Did he dare risk reacting as quickly as usual and making himself more suspicious to the Waterfall? The Leaf-nin never got the chance to make a decision either way.

"Zenko Korou Ken (Double Calamity Fist)!"

Two Narutos converged on the yakuza and leveled him, one aiming high and the other low, swiftly smashing the underworld fighter to the ground, before the Naruto who'd attacked low turned back to dust and crumbled away, the clone accomplishing its duty.

"Next time, do the speechifying after they're all finished! Step back and let shinobi do their work already!"

Maito Gai's sense of duty and curiosity could seldom be superseded by other things. He wasn't a Jounin of the Leaf for no reason. A display of youthful power and grace, however, was a little too tempting to ignore. The Guardian of the Blossom of Youth could not admire such a display while in disguise. Kaimaru disappeared to reveal a shinobi in Leaf garb and green bodysuit.

"EXCELLENT! Spirit and bravery! The very flower of youth power, blooming in a foreign land! Proof that my beliefs are true, a gift from the gods! I look forward to your arrival in the Leaf, so I, Maito Gai, may show the world the power of youth! But I must be off, for I am discovered. YOUTH POWER, AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Chief Omori and her reinforcements moved fast, but not nearly fast enough to keep Gai from becoming a blur in the distance. The kunoichi who'd been guarding the main entrance shouted a warning.

"Hey! Intruder! Stop him!"

She needn't have bothered. It took all of five seconds for Gai's presence in the Waterfall to become common knowledge - by himself, he managed to alert the entire city without the women resorting to gossip; a historical feat by itself.

"A MAN!"

"IT'S A MAN!"

"THAT'S A MAN?"

"CLOSE ENOUGH! GET HIM, GIRLS!"

Gai somehow managed to make a bad situation worse.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! MY YOUTHLY ESSENCE IS NOT TO BE WASTED! RUN AWAY!"

The only thing worse than being a man in a village full of love-starved women was being a man playing hard to get.

They tried grabbing him, which didn't work. Then they tried tripping him. Still nothing. That was when the whips, snares, chains, pit traps and nets started coming out. After the third time Gai evaded a "Man-Catcher" net, Juzo turned to Yuki.

"_Now_ can I make a hand seal?"

The Stone Jounin's face developed a very nasty grin.

"Why, certainly."

"Doton: Takou Tsuchi no Jutsu (Earth Element: Porous Earth)!"

Gai's next cartoonishly high leap landed him in a sinkhole forty feet deep, with walls too soft and crumbling to climb. Yuki leaned over the entrance, still grinning.

"You've got two choices, Leafy-boy. Explain yourself and maybe get released, or say nothing and we leave you to the mercies of Two-Ton Tomoko and her BBW Brigade for their week-long vacation."

Her response was a bellow from the depths of the pit.

"I…FIGHT…ON!"

A green blur came sailing out of the sinkhole in the direction of the waterfall, bowling Yuki over in the process. Juzo goggled, not entirely in awe.

"Fuck me! That's the deepest hole I've ever made and the son of a bitch just jumps out of it!"

All three Genin felt the eruption of killing intent behind them, turning slowly to see Yuki glowing with inchoate rage in her eyes.

"Years of training, putting up with Daddy, being behind Daimaru, and this is what it comes to – getting knocked on my ass by some clown in a green, skintight bodysuit WITH A BLOODY BOWL CUT! Well, no more!"

The Stone Jounin disappeared in a blur of her own, joining the chase for Gai. Naruto muttered a curse.

"So much for smooth, easy missions."

Kaori made an incredulous noise.

"Since when have we _ever_ had a smooth, easy mission that didn't involve compost?"

"It doesn't mean I can't hope."

-

Ten minutes passed. Property was destroyed. Gai kept moving, and so did Yuki and the Waterfall kunoichi. Twenty minutes passed. More property was destroyed. With the main village gate sealed, the Leaf-nin had very few options but to keep moving, and Yuki wasn't about to stop trying to assuage wounded pride. Naruto, Kaori and Juzo had attempted to follow, but at the rate both Jounins were traveling the three had fallen well behind the chase, watching it circle the downtown area.

Naruto surveyed the destruction and cursed.

"We don't stop this soon, there won't _be_ a Hidden Waterfall Village left to ally with."

"If we coulda stopped this," Juzo grunted, "we woulda done it by now. Me, I'm happy as hell to let Yuki and Bowl Cut Boy tear this place down."

"Look, if this place goes down, we do too. This is a Hidden Village! There's gotta be bombs and explosive notes stored all over the place. One false step, one overpowered jutsu and the whole place goes up like a fireworks display, with us in the middle."

Kaori wasn't looking at either boy, but rather at the chase.

"You know, there's something weird about all of this."

"What is it?" Naruto asked.

"Other than when he attacked those yakuza, the Leaf-nin hasn't used any offensive moves. All he's done so far since we found him out is try to get away from Yuki-sensei and the Waterfall-nins. If he were a spy or an assassin, he'd have tried to kill the gate guards and escape by now. Why waste any time?"

"So what, he's harmless?"

"Not harmless," the red-haired girl muttered, "but he can probably be reasoned with. Thing is, we still have to find a way to subdue him before we can try that, and Juzo's best shot failed."

Naruto shrugged.

"Don't look at me. I'm not gonna be any use unless we're trying to kill him, and even then I'd need the Kyubi to do it."

"Whaddaya mean you're not gonna be any use?" Juzo grunted. "One good lava pit or earthen cage and we got him cold."

Naruto slashed his hand in the air.

"If he's on a mission, he's gotta have a team. Not even the Leaf's overconfident enough to send single shinobis to steal a Hidden Village's greatest secret. And if he's got a team, we all oughta think twice before we pull out our trump cards."

"What for?"

"Jutsu thieves. The Uchiha and Hyuga, the Sharingan and the Byakugan. One steals techniques, the other can see how your chakra flows while you're doing them and screw with your chakra if they touch you. Everything but a Bloodline Limit or summoning is basically an open book. Dunno about you, but I'm not about to give away Yamazaki family secrets that easy."

Kaori sighed.

"Naruto, the next Chuunin Exam is going to be in the Leaf. It's their turn in the rotation this year and next year, then the Sand, Cloud, us and Mist in that order. Are you telling me you're going to try and pass it using nothing but taijutsu?"

The blonde Genin's eyes grew hard and cold.

"I owe my parents everything. I owe the Leaf nothing. They're not getting anything from me. Unless I have to save either of your lives in the Exam, I'm not using anything but taijutsu. As soon as the rotation draw came out, Shira started me on advanced forms. I oughta be ready when the time comes."

His fiancée caught the omission.

"Rescue us? What about you?"

"They'll have to kill me if they want to get anything out of me. And if they try, Kyubi will come out whether I like it or not. If that happens, I'd expect either of the two of you to finish me off. I don't want that thing getting loose. If I die, it dies. Our people are safe."

Juzo went ghostly white.

"Dude, that's harsh, even for you. You think I'm just gonna whack you?"

"Yes, damn it! Compared to giving in to that thing, death'd be an escape!"

His rant was cut off when Kaori's open palm connected with his face.

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!"

"What the hell was that for?" Naruto snarled at the girl.

"I'm sick of hearing this crap from you!" she screamed. "Grandpa said it himself that the Hokage who sealed you was a master of the arts. What he did to you, he intended to do! If you can use the Kyubi's power, it's because he wanted you to have that option! Run from it if you want, but don't you dare use it as an excuse to die just because you don't want to take responsibility for controlling it!

"So the Sand kid's a maniac! That's his problem! You have something inside you that nobody else has and you can use it for a reason! Deal with it!"

He stared back at her, stunned into paralysis.

"Kaori, what…?"

She turned away, face flushed, body shaking.

"I've been through too much to marry a spineless wimp."

"What are you talking about?" he gaped.

Her response was muted.

"When they told me we had get married someday, I hated you, even if it was Grandpa who gave the order. Why did I have to marry someone I barely knew? I can't even think about going on dates, or having too many boys for friends, because my mother would go on and on about sticking to the arrangement. Then the assassins started coming. I realized how hard you had it. I didn't want for someone to go through that alone, so I stopped thinking about it like a duty and started seeing it as something I wanted to do.

"_But if you're not even going to try and control your own destiny, why should I waste my time trying to help you reach it?_"

"We can talk about this later," he snarled back quickly.

"We'll talk about it now, or you can go ahead and switch to one of my sisters, because I'm done!"

"FINE!" Naruto snapped. "You want to talk? We'll talk! Should we start at the part where I tell you about the look in my own mom's eyes when I went demon and killed that assassin, or about her finding me left out to die in the middle of the forest? This thing does nothing but hurt people and drive them away. Why should I want anything to do with it?"

"Naruto," Juzo muttered, "you scared the shit out of _me_ too that day, and I'm still here. Same with your mom, your dad and your sisters. Your grandpa's never been scared of anything in his life, but the rest of us? We're smarter than that. And we're all still here. If the Leaf can't see past their fears, maybe that's one thing. But we know there's more to ya than some maniac with nine tails. So drop the excuses already and stop acting like a pussy. If you could survive ten years of training from Iron Balls Kantaro, controlling a sealed demon oughta be cake."

Yuki gave her fiancé the stinkeye.

"Well? What excuse do you have to counter that?"

The Ninetails' vessel threw up his hands in disgust.

"Absolutely nothing. Satisfied?"

"Not even close," the red-haired girl sighed. "but I'll take it for now. Let's stop the Leaf-nin first; that's the mission."

Naruto shrugged.

"Even if you wanted me to, I don't know how to just call out the Kyubi at will right now. Gotta find another way to beat the Leaf-nin."

Juzo made an irritated noise.

"You're the big shot. If we had an idea we'd have tried it by now."

"Look, combat ain't gonna cut it. If Aunt Yuki can't catch him, neither can we. Only thing that works on him is surprise, like when Juzo dropped him in the hole, or appealing to that whole youth power thing. So we can't just go straight at him."

"What's the plan then?"

"Gimme a minute. I'm thinking. It's gotta be something nobody would expect, something he could trust or at least not suspect too much too soon."

"So, what, like a demented exercise instructor wearing the same type bodysuit?"

"Close, but I don't think even this guy's dumb enough to fall for something that obvious. It's gotta be something that looks valid at first glance. Hey, wait a sec."

The blonde Genin turned to Kaori, snapping an order.

"Quick! What's Tomoyuki look like?"

His fiancée, never much of a pop music fan, was taken aback at the abrupt request.

"What?"

"Tomoyuki! You know, pop star, Yuki's obsession, turned Waterfall-nin boytoy?"

"I know who he is! What do you think I am, some fangirl who knows all his dimensions?"

Both of them stopped cold when Juzo answered.

"Six feet tall even, blue eyes, dyed platinum blonde hair, with brown showing at the roots, and if he's been in captivity as long as Yuki says he has, a lot of it showing. Last seen wearing his signature blue suede jacket with a giant star stitched in sequins on his back, no shirt, and leather pants. Tight fire-red leather pants. If they got him while he was performing, he would have been wearing pointy-toed vinyl boots."

The stocky Genin's teammates stared at him with mouths gaping open.

"What? My mom reads the _Snitch_ too. Out loud, even."

"Riiiiight," Kaori snorted. "And Two-Ton Tomoko is just big for her age."

"That's enough," Naruto said, pulling the two apart. "Yell later. Right now we got a job to do, and here's how it's gonna go down…"

-

In a Hidden Village, citizens were used to weird happenings on their streets at all hours of the day. They were a fact of life, after all. The Hidden Waterfall was no exception – except when it came to anything involving attractive men. So when what appeared to be Tomoyuki came barreling down Jinpachi Boulevard, jacket open and chest glistening with sweat from his exertion, heads turned. Many heads turned. Kaori and Juzo, chasing the pop star, aroused the mob.

"Stop him! He's escaping!"

Eyes young and old lit up with an inhuman glow that, frankly, scared the daylights out of Naruto (or Tomoyuki for now). Legs blurring, he vamoosed it down the street, keeping a look out for where Yuki and Gai were continuing their chase. The key was to keep his own chase out of plain sight until it got to the point where Gai couldn't help but want to help a fellow youth in trouble.

On one hand, that wouldn't take real long in the Waterfall. On the other hand…

"Get him, girls! If we let the Chief's people take him in we'll never see him again, those greedy bitches!"

"Release the hounds!"

That got his attention, all right.

_Oh, shit_.

He couldn't very well take to the rooftops and start bouncing around like he would have as himself. No jutsu either, not even taijutsu. Tomoyuki was a singer, not a shinobi. The slightest detail wrong about his portrayal, and the whole plan would go belly up. With his luck, the Leaf-nin was as rabid a fan of the pop idol as Juzo (or his mother, if you actually believed that). Gai had only avoided all those traps, nets and chains by being a shinobi. Speed was the only thing keeping Naruto from becoming the meat in a giant human sandwich.

_So run, rabbit, run._

Working with Juzo had given him plenty of experience in feeling out vibrations in the ground. If you knew what to look for – a subtle wave, a sense of the bottom dropping out – you could sometimes anticipate a Takeda's sinkhole. Naruto put that knowledge to use in gauging his flight. Here a slightly impatient tapping of feet could be a woman with a net or tripwire. There, the lessening of the mob's thunderous pace behind him meant some of his pursuers could be trying to shift a few blocks over and cut him off up ahead.

It didn't much matter that he didn't know the city layout. That wasn't as important as knowing where danger lay. He kept running, not entirely knowing where he was going, but not blind either. Yuki and her cohorts' yelling kept him going in the right general direction anyway.

"YOU'RE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE ON YOURSELF, DEARIE!"

"YOU OWE US SOOOO MUCH FOREPLAY NOW!"

"GET BACK HERE, HELMET HEAD! WE'LL SEE HOW SHINY YOUR HAIR IS AFTER A FEW THOUSAND SWIRLIES IN THE WASHROOM!"

There was, as always, no problem telling which voice belonged to which kunoichi. Naruto grinned slightly, and went back to measuring the force of his own pursuit. Judging it good enough to get sympathy from Gai, the Stone Genin cut through an alley, ducked under a rope snare, and merged into the Gai-Yuki chase.

"Hey! You're not a Waterfall ninja, right? You gotta help me! These crazies have been holding me prisoner for months, making me do all sorts of weird shit!"

Naruto's intuition about Gai and pop stars was correct. Whether that was a good thing was up to individual opinion.

"IT CANNOT BE! THE PARAGON OF YOUTH POWER, HERE STANDING BEFORE ME! TRULY THE GODS HAVE REWARDED ME FOR MY FAITH!"

"Uh, yeah, whatever," Naruto said hurriedly as Gai threw an arm around him, both still running, but now at a normal person's speed. "Just get me out of this messed-up place, and you can have as many autographs as you want!"

Gai fell right into the trap.

"We must plan our escape well! Quickly, into the alley!"

Playing a nervous, fey wuss wasn't too hard – he'd seen plenty of those Uchihas in the Leaf section of the Ninja Almanac.

"No way, man! We go in there and they'll cut us off for sure! How do you think I got caught in the first place?"

Even helmet-headed Leaf-nins weren't immune to logic.

"Where do you suggest we go?"

"There!" Naruto pointed. "If we go into the shopping arcade and up a floor or two fast enough we might be able to lose them in there and get out the other side!"

"Fitting of such an active mind! I am, as always, in awe of your creativity!"

"Whatever, man! Look, you're faster than me, so go ahead and clear out anyone hiding behind the gates, and I'll be right behind!"

Gai leaped into action, disengaging himself from "Tomoyuki" and speeding towards the open arch of the downtown shopping arcade.

"I AM BUT A SERVANT TO THE WILL OF THE GODS!"

Gai managed to get five steps inside the arcade before Kaori's already-placed Onmyou Tenka pinned him to the ground with ten times the force of normal gravity.

"WHAT MANNER OF MAGIC IS THIS?"

Straining with the effort, the Leaf-nin turned to see a vinyl boot come into view, his idol looking down upon his defeated form – before he disappeared in a cloud of smoke to reveal a grinning Stone Genin.

"Youth treachery two, youth power zip. Might want to rethink that. Thanks for the attempted save, though. If we find the real Tomoyuki you can have him – if we let you live."

"And why should we do that?" Yuki muttered from behind them. Naruto turned to see his aunt walking up, kunai in hand and a facial tic twitching.

"We kill him and we don't find out where the rest of his team is, the Hero Water's still in danger, and we lose a bargaining chip."

Gai's answer surprised all of them.

"I will save you the time and tell you the truth. That, if you must know, is that I have no team."

Chief Omori cocked an eyebrow, the old kunoichi still breathing heavily from her exertions.

"I wasn't aware the Leaf operated that stupidly – or suicidally. One does not attempt to take a Hidden Village's trump card by sending a single shinobi unless, if you'll pardon me, that shinobi has more talent than you have displayed so far."

"And I would agree with you, if I had actually been on a mission."

Yuki snorted.

"Come again?"

Gai somehow managed to look self-righteous.

"I am on vacation!"

The Stone and Waterfall-nins in attendance all took a face fault.

"It's official," Kaori groaned. "We caught an ignoramus."

"Ignoramus? Who is an ignoramus? Did I not enter the village unmolested? I am a skilled shinobi!"

"Says the man who's being pinned to the earth by a ten-year old kunoichi, and got there after being fooled by a ten-year old Genin's Henge," Yuki sniffed. "Who the hell takes a vacation by trying to steal Hero Water?"

"Perhaps I am a fool for being defeated, Stone kunoichi, but do not presume that you automatically know what I was doing! Maito Gai is no thief."

"But you admit you were here for the Water?" Chief Omori questioned the prisoner.

"Aye, that I was, but merely to research its properties."

Juzo snorted.

"Research what? Drink it and you're dead! What else do you have to know about it?"

Gai's neck muscles bulged, the Leaf Jounin shaking his head slightly.

"That is common knowledge. I had intended to research something else. You see, I am a user of the inner Celestial Gates, and as well I have had the honor of teaching several Genin teams out of the Academy. I should have liked to see how Hero Water affects the body's chemistry, for I believed there might be a way to lessen or negate the physical effects that opening a Celestial Gate has on the body, if I only knew what areas to protect or how fast a chakra increase could safely be handled. How else could I responsibly teach such an example of the power of youth to my charges?"

-

"You think he's telling the truth?"

Chief Omori shrugged at Yuki's question, the two leaders huddled together around a corner.

"He certainly seems the type for it. I'm not arrogant enough to believe my people could easily stop an elite Leaf three- or four-member squad if they were actually assigned to steal some Hero Water. He's been pinned now for nearly half an hour, and still no rescue attempts, diversions, or attempts to steal Hero Water while everyone's distracted here."

"It doesn't mean they aren't still planning them," Yuki muttered.

"And that's certainly a possibility. But the longer they delay, the more people I send back to their posts. No, if they were going to strike, they would have done it by now. As they haven't, I'm inclined to believe that our prisoner really did come here on vacation, as insanely foolish as that sounds. We don't need to make unnecessary enemies of the Leaf."

Yuki wisely refrained from implying any other motives for why the Waterfall would spare Gai any overly rough treatment.

"It's your village. I think our job here is done, then. With one condition, of course…"

"And what would that be?" the Chief asked levelly.

"You can have Leafy-boy, but one temporary guest is enough, don't you think?"

The older kunoichi cocked an eyebrow, but sighed after a moment of mutual staring.

"I figured as much."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"My granddaughter will throw a fit, you know."

"A lot of men aren't up to rough stuff. I think you'll find a shinobi more than capable of handling a little 'horseplay.'"

"If he objects?"

Yuki shrugged, turning to head back to the elders' hall.

"Even research costs money, Chief."

Behind them, a shout rose in Gai's voice.

"GYAAAAAA! Touch not my buns of steel!"

Yuki smiled and turned to leave, visions of pop idols freed from captivity dancing in her head.

_Better you than Tomo, Leafy-boy_.

-

"Halt! Let's see some ID, old man."

Kantaro bristled at the gate guard's query, even knowing that it was coming. Retire as Kage and suddenly everybody thought you were ripe for disrespecting. The old shinobi resisted the impulse to kill and pulled out his identification, dog-eared and yellowed almost sixty years after its creation.

The gate guard took one look at the "Kage" characters boldly displayed on one corner of the Hidden Stone card and just about wet his pants. For while the Stone had eventually been turned back by the Leaf in their advance against the Hidden Grass so many years ago, it had not been without casualties. And the one name that was still at the top of the Potential Threat list from the Earth Country now stood before him, at the very gates of the Hidden Leaf.

_Yamazaki Kantaro, the Master of Seals, Fourth Tsuchikage of the Hidden Stone Village._

The man in question sneered, utter contempt written on his face.

"I see someone's been studying his cute little Leaf-nin 'bingo book.'"

The Leaf-nin said nothing, attempting to control his own unease in the face of the barely restrained rage flowing outward from the older shinobi.

"Stop your knees knocking, fool. If I were here to kill, you'd be dead already. Notify the Hokage I'm here to discuss the parameters of the coming Chuunin Exam. Take more than twenty minutes and I'll find him myself. Now go!"

"But the gate-"

"Will be sealed tighter than a cloistered nun's legs until you return. A mere trifle, courtesy of yours truly. Consider it a tip for your service. So go now, or step aside."

Explaining why no visitors had been inspected or let in for a few minutes was bad enough. But explaining why he had let a foreign Kage, even a retired one, into the village _on his own_ without escort? He'd be lucky if Morino Ibiki didn't stick him on a spit to roast in his own juices. The Chuunin left – grudgingly.

Kantaro resisted the urge to rub more salt into the wound by roaring with laughter. Instead he fulfilled his promise, throwing a seal ward into each corner of the open Leaf gates.

"Fuuton Fuuin: Kaze no Mon (Wind Element Seal: Gate of Winds)!"

The air inside the confines of the gates shimmered briefly, concentrating itself but leaving enough transparency to see who might be coming and who was behind the gate.

"You always were a stickler for proper names and titles, Yamazaki-dono."

Kantaro harrumphed at the bland tone of the Third Hokage's voice.

"You earn a title, Sarutobi, people ought to call you by it. Respect the work, if not the person. Otherwise, every jumped-up Academy graduate and hot-shit Jounin starts to think they can be as informal as they want. And where would that get us?"

"Nowhere good, I assume. Might I ask what you are doing here, Yamazaki-dono, other than scaring unassuming Chuunin?"

Naruto's grandfather snorted.

"At least he's fast."

"Actually, I was on a walk around the village and spotted your seal. They're rather hard to miss."

"That's the point, Sarutobi. Not every weapon has to be tangible."

"Must every one of our discussions relate to war?"

"Humor me. I'd like to at least sound like I know what I'm talking about, even after your boy up on the mountain there handed my head to me in the last fight."

The Third gave him a humorless smile.

"Now that we have established your pride, to business?"

"Got an office or a secluded teahouse to retire to? You'll want to be sitting down for this."

The Hokage arched an eyebrow, but said nothing, preferring to point Kantaro towards his office.

-

"To be honest, I had been wondering when the first representatives would be coming to discuss the Chuunin Exam. Discuss, or offer their 'suggestions' as to how it should be run."

Kantaro snorted, watching his former counterpart rummage through a giant portfolio full of records for the Chuunin Exam.

"Oh, there's still an official group coming. Daimaru doesn't know I'm here. Came on vacation, so to speak."

The Third's curiosity was perked up now.

"I assume you _do_ have concerns about the exam process?"

The old Stone shinobi made a noncommittal noise.

"The process? Not so much. It can't be too rigged, or else your people are going to have problems. I'm here to talk security."

The Hokage wasn't sure whether to be intrigued or insulted by that.

"Security?"

"You may be aware by now," Kantaro continued, "that I have but one grandson. He is the heir to the Yamazaki line, and by extension the Hidden Stone itself. Daimaru believes the best of people and figures he'll be safe coming here to try for promotion. I am not nearly so optimistic."

"I thought the other villages near you had stopped sending assassins after your son's rather grisly little message."

"Who said anything about assassins being the problem?"

"One would think that's the only point of having security, Yamazaki-dono."

The Fourth Tsuchikage turned weary eyes to the office window, looking out onto the Hidden Leaf from above.

"Having security is useless if the security itself has an incentive not to do its job."

This would require tact, the Third Hokage thought darkly. One did not simply respond to an insult with an insult – especially not when it was a Kage facing a Kage.

"I do hope you're not implying my people would try to give their comrades a 'home-field advantage.'"

Kantaro made a disgusted noise.

"Imply it? No. Expect it? Perhaps. The gods only know that the Sand and Cloud used to try to do it all the time, and the Mist has a natural ally in the weather. But that's for the official delegations to hash out or protest. My concern relates to a single Genin team from the Hidden Stone, no more. Do you have a copy of the Almanac handy?"

Intrigued and not at all sure he wasn't still going to be insulted, the Third consulted his bookshelf and picked out the book in question.

"Ah, good. If you would, flip to the Stone section and look at the nice little spread I designed for my family. You'll notice my grandson prominently displayed."

The Third noticed the boy – Yamazaki Naruto, was it? – but was nonplussed.

"He looks like his mother," the old man noted, trying to be polite.

"Ah, but you see, that's the problem."

"Excuse me?"

"Naruto doesn't have brown hair. That photo was digitally altered after it was taken, for his own protection. We also did some alterations to his face."

Now the Third was _really_ curious.

"I understand you have but the one heir, but was that really necessary?"

Kantaro fished a photograph out of his pocket and tossed it on the desk in front of the Third Hokage.

"I don't know. You tell me."

Blond hair, cerulean eyes. Scars akin to whiskers. And that damned cocksure grin. A ghost no more. The Third had his answer, at last.

_And so, too, does Suzuno_.

Kantaro didn't bat an eye as the Hokage sat down in his chair with an undignified thud.

"Let me be brief. You left him out there, either to die or to be found. We found him. He's ours, my grandson, son of the Fifth Tsuchikage, and heir to the Yamazaki line. And if one of these irrational bastards you call villagers so much as singes a hair on his head, I will turn this place into a charnel house. You may kill me, but I swear I'll take every last one of you with me.

"Naruto will only come to this rotation of the Chuunin Exam if my conditions are met. I fully intend to accompany him. My son and daughter-in-law will accompany him, as will his Jounin sensei and private sensei. I will bring my own Anbu team, in addition to the usual security team assigned to the Kage's party. We will use lethal force to defend Naruto, if provoked. You may pick out a small two or three-person team to accompany us and make sure that incidents do not get out of hand. No member of that team may be ranked any higher than Chuunin. Those are my conditions. What say you, Sarutobi?"

It was wholly unreasonable. Wholly, completely unreasonable that anyone could demand that much protection in a foreign Hidden Village. But if the Kyubi's vessel was not entirely a unique case, he was still a special case. Perhaps his absence had erased some memories, but time healed wounds inconsistently, and even when it did so, it did so slowly. Ten years might not be nearly enough time.

_But it's far more time than any of those who wanted a child killed should have gotten to themselves_.

There had been no Kyubi sightings in ten years. Neither had there been reports of deaths in the Hidden Stone due to it, other than the thinly-disguised corpse pieces Yamazaki Daimaru had sent to all the villages to discourage assassins.

The rational would have to accept that. The irrational could be dissuaded with threats and guilt. And his mother – the Third hesitated to even think about the prospect – his mother would have to be told. But that was merely what should be done. Past time the lies stopped. The act was over with, the child lost to them, another village's hope. Standing in the way of his life again would be the ultimate insult to his birth father – and to the boy himself.

"Very well. Please notify me before your candidates set out for the Leaf. I'll begin my preparations and have them in place before you arrive."


End file.
